To All my White Christian Friends Regarding Recent Events

(So I’ve been working on a new blog! This is not what I had planned for a first post, but here we are anyway. Also ignore the social media links. I don’t know how to make them go away.)

Today I posted this picture of my family and I from a gathering with our home school co-op friends on FB. It received many likes and even a comment about our great family, and there was much love and support.

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photo credit Sarah Hartman

Then, I saw a video a friend had posted of the latest police shooting and killing of an unarmed black man. My friend who posted this video is black. Many of the people who commented were white.

Friends- I’m worried about the comments that I read. I’m worried about how non people of color are responding to these shootings. I’m worried about the excuses people are making for these officers. I’m worried about the obvious lack of sympathy for these people and their families and for the black community that is SUFFERING.

WE ARE SUFFERING.

WE HAVE BEEN SUFFERING.

I’m worried about why this suffering is being diminished.
I’m worried about why so many Christian people don’t feel the need to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, except ignore it or worse- rationalize it.

So I want to try something here. Look at the picture of my family again. Look at my boys. Some of you have high-fived these kids on the way into church service. You’ve given them a push on the swing at a play date. You’ve served them cake at your child’s birthday party. Now, look at my husband. You’ve handed him the communion plate, tossed a football with him at a picnic. You’ve prayed for him in connect group. Are you looking at the picture? Now, I have some questions for you:

What if my husband was the one who had just been shot and killed by the police? Unarmed, dying needlessly in the street? What would you tell me to my face? Would you say, “Look, being a police officer is a hard job. There are lots of good cops out there. I have cops in my family and I feel like you aren’t respecting their job. It’s a sad thing about your husband, but you can’t blame the police for this”?

Would you say, “The police told him to keep his hands down and he didn’t. He didn’t follow the rules so he got what was coming to him. You have to follow rules- simple as that”?

Would you look me in the eye and say those things? I read those comments today.

What if it was one of my boys sitting on a park bench, holding an air soft gun, who had been gunned down by police who never even gave him the option to drop the “weapon”?

Would you say, ” Well, your son looked older than he was and how are the police really supposed to know it was a fake gun, so it was just a sad accident”?

Would you tell me, “I’m sorry you’re so sad about your son, but really, ALL lives matter, not just your son’s life. We need to be focusing on everyone, not just singling him out”?

Would you tell me, “Your son was dressed like a ‘thug’. He looked like he was up to no good. If he hadn’t been dressed like that he wouldn’t have been shot”?

I’ve read those comments this year.

Would you tell me those things if it were our family being judged and criticized and actually BLAMED after a death like this? Would you come to the funeral and offer some of those words for “comfort”?

I’m sure the answer is no. If it were our family I know that your hearts would be broken. I know that you would be devastated. I know you’d be sending cards and messages and casseroles. That you’d be hugging and praying and asking God for comfort and healing and change.

Friends, this the response WE need from you every time there is racial injustice because, the thing is, every time this happens, it feels like it could have been my family. It could have been my husband reading a book in his car. It could have been my son sitting on a park bench. It could have been my cousins in a routine traffic stop. It could have been my brother in law outside of a convenience store.

I know it’s uncomfortable for me to talk about this, but I can’t be silent about these things anymore because being silent could mean no change and there has to be change. For the sake of my husband and children and family members. And you know what? For the sake of yours, too.

So, please don’t tell me “All Lives Matter”, please don’t tell me “It’s sad, but…”. Just tell me you care.

Tell me you don’t understand what it’s like to be black. Tell me you don’t understand what it’s like to fear the things I fear. Tell me you don’t have all the answers but you want to know more, you want to help, you want to see change. Don’t argue with me about why I’m hurting. Don’t argue with me about why I’m angry. Don’t try to be right. And please don’t try to make me responsible for why these things are happening.

And after all that, maybe ask to meet me for coffee and listen to my stories and my family’s stories.

Maybe try to hear me. Try to hear us. And pray.

Listen.
Pray.
Repeat.

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307 Comments

    1. What do I need to do to help? I can almost feel the black community’s sense of injustice, the feelings of not being heard. The anger, the fear, the raw pain. As a white middle aged woman, how can I help? What should I be doing that I’m not doing? I try to be kind, to smile, to treat everyone equally. But it isn’t enough, and I don’t know what would be? I feel like I’m sitting on the sidelines of a game I should be playing on, but I have no idea what position I should play.

      1. You’re attitude is a gift, just as when a friend has a disease, you may not be able to physically aid them, but your listening, praying, can mean the world to them, and with your ears and heart open, if/when, the opportunity to literally help presents itself, no doubt, you’ll be numbered amongst the ready.

        1. Voting helps. It always helps. It always sends a message, even when you don’t win. When you hear an elected official or representatives of a party or organization mouth the same empty, heartless excuses that Latrice listed, when you hear them insult grief for the sake of their wallets… vote them out. Vote their friends and allies out. Vote those who oppose them in. Make change with every opportunity our democracy presents you.

        2. Julie , I feel the same way. I don’t know what to do. What to say less I offend. I’m just a human trying to understand just as you. But what can we do to help? I too am a white middle aged woman who have friends that are black. What can we do to help?

          Terri Charlotte, North Carolina

          1. Be real, be empathetic and understanding of how far and how long African americas have been brutalized, left out, not hired, fired for no reason, it given good housing in a system which redlined them, find out what redline means then you will understand, read OUR history and not the white cultural history which shows white people as all the heroes in every story told fro. Cowboys to soldiers fighting in every war because blacks fought in every war as well and they were heroes too! Do research on why racism exist and look at the atrocities leveled on blacks throughout this nation over the past 400 years. The more you read, research, learn and understand we live in a world in which whites want everyone else to assimilate into their culture. In other words, straight hair, no braids or Afros, clean clothes, no holes in pants, walk, talk, act like, be like us or else.

          2. Hi Terri, I just posted a reply to Julie and, not knowing if you will see it or not, thought I would “reply” to your post as well. I am sending this with appreciation and gratitude for your desire to help. Here’s what I said:

            “I appreciate your dilemma. Sometimes it is hard to “take action” or even know what action to take. I don’t know where you live but I know that there are many groups around the country, and for that matter online, that are dealing with just these issues. Here are just few organizations/ideas: 1. SURJ (showing up for racial justice) 2. Proud Christians Against Racism 3. Moral Mondays 4. NAACP 5. Google “what’s a white person to do about racism?”

            My hope is, as you look around, you will find something that feels like a good fit. There are many folks in your position. Perhaps you can find someone doing anti-racist work and organize a gathering where folks can talk about just this! Just a thought. Wishing you the best of luck in finding your way!”

          1. Why do people only concentrate on blacks that were slaves every race was slaves at one point or another look back through history

        3. I feel the exact same way, and am having the same thoughts as I read this blog. Please tell us, and white citizens, what to do. How can we help? I am also frightened for my children and my grandchildren because of what our nation has become. I love looking at the picture of your family. You’re beautiful, sweet children and I’d love to shake your hand and your husband’s hand and hug your children and say I’m sorry I’m behalf of all white Christians.

          1. Cindy, I think what you say you want to do is exactly what you should do, because you have a good heart and you want to connect and be a safe person.

            I would encourage you to do two things, then
            1. Like Latrice says, do the coffee thing. Of course, that might mean a lot of things, but it boils down to spending time, listening, and understanding.
            2. Do the thing for you, and people like you and me (white Christians), and speak up to our own. In my opinion (!), white Christians need to solve the problem of white Christians not listening and not doing. Our fellow brothers and sister in Christ, black Christians, are not the ones who should fix our problems because we made them and we own them. So speak up when you hear your fellow white Christians say and do ignorant or cruel things. Be Jesus in that moment.

            I encourage you to do this, and if you need help or tools, I encourage you to reach out to the people around you who are, like you, attempting to take the next steps towards healing and reconciliation.

            Good luck on the journey!

          2. Donald, when were white people enslaved in the United States? We are talking about this country, not Africa, the middle East or even Europe. Just like being born free has shaped the way you think and act going back to the founding of this country until today. The legacy of slavery, Jim Crowe and segregation has had an affect on black for 400 years that whites think 50 or 60 years of semi freedom makes the field equal. Y’all benefited from a 400 years of head starts in every facet of life be it familial, economic, social and political.

        4. Thank you for posting this. Although I must say it hurts me to read this. Because I along with so many others that may never posts a comment here are lost in a world that is becoming divided right in front of our eyes. I love everyone, all walks of life. As I read and see the news of things happening. It just continues to rip my heart out. For their family’s, friends and the world we live in. What are everyone of us doing? We’ve let the media and government start controlling and dividing us as we once were before. Let’s stand as one. We did it once and we can continue to do it everyday. My thoughts and prayers are going out to everyone. Huge hugs! #BlackLivesMatter #WeAllMatter #OurFutureMatters #GodMatters

          1. A lot of white Christian men died to end slavery in the civil war. A lot of white Christians fought for you to become citizens and have the right to vote. The current president is black, so please explain to me how the continued oppression of your people is still going on? I’m not trying to make excuses for the police but buy far it looks like to me the biggest fear of you getting shot is by your own community. If the stats that I’ve seen are accurate (fbi crime stats) the 13% of the US population is made up of your community and yet 52% of all murders are committed by your community, and the largest part of that number by far was black on black crime. Your killing each other at far greater numbers than any one else hands down. Didn’t a black man just kill a black man while protesting a shooting of a black man by a black man in the current (riot) protest? I’m not trying to come across wrong on this because I’ve never had to deal with these issues personally . I find it hard to understand some of what I hear you saying, not that I don’t want to. I do see some very disturbing things going on in the name of your protest going on and I’ve got to admit that it makes it very hard to become sympathetic with the Blm movement . I apologize if this didn’t come out right, I really ment no disrespect . Just a few personal thoughts, feel free to disagree or agree such is your privilege. God bless and have a great day.

        5. I have a former student who had a potentially bad run it with a police officer on the metro. A woman asked her if she could have a few bucks to put more money in her fare card. She had no cash and her debit card was not working. My student gave her a dollar and went to get on the train when an officer accused her of buying drugs. It so happened that a whiten woman who was a lawyer, who had scene the whole exchange, stepped in and defended my student and even said that she would represent my student if he tried to arrest her for doing nothing wrong. One thing you can do is use your privilege when you can. Speak up when you hear other whites saying once survive things. Be present if you see something go down. Ask if your Black friends or other friends of color are okay when tension are high. If every well meaning person did these things, it would make a world of difference.

          1. Let’s take a closer look at your stats.

            For the period 2008–12—
            Persons in poor households at or below the Federal Poverty Level (FPL) (39.8 per 1,000) had more than double the rate of violent victimization as persons in high-income households (16.9 per 1,000).
            Persons in poor households had a higher rate of violence involving a firearm (3.5 per 1,000) compared to persons above the FPL (0.8–2.5 per 1,000).
            The overall pattern of poor persons having the highest rates of violent victimization was consistent for both whites and blacks. However, the rate of violent victimization for Hispanics did not vary across poverty levels.
            Poor Hispanics (25.3 per 1,000) had lower rates of violence compared to poor whites (46.4 per 1,000) and poor blacks (43.4 per 1,000).
            Poor persons living in urban areas (43.9 per 1,000) had violent victimization rates similar to poor persons living in rural areas (38.8 per 1,000).
            Poor urban blacks (51.3 per 1,000) had rates of violence similar to poor urban whites (56.4 per 1,000).

            Poverty plays a role here. With that said this has nothing to do with what this blog is about.

      2. Julie…your words are kind. You ask how you can help? To start, you can share your thoughts with your non-black/brown friends and family. Instead of not saying anything or going along when racist, bigotry and hurtful words come from them about our community, speak up, try and help them to understand. Let them know it starts with you. That you aren’t going to tolerate nor be a part of the things they say and the way they feel. Let them know your friendship comes at a cost. Let them know from the beginning, when we were bought and paid for like a piece of property, treated inhumane, raped physically/mentally, whipped, killed, degraded, and anything that could be done negatively was done. That our ancestors were stripped/separated and taken away from our families and homes. Let them know that they have the opportunity to trace their family history, and to know their heritage but the majority of us do not. This is just a start. There are too many things to list here in this forum. Just know if you can start there and your friends/family do the same, that’s where the dialogue starts. It begins with YOU who care and aren’t afraid to stand up for what’s right and against what’s wrong.

      3. You’ve done the first thing…you asked what you can do to help. Next be outraged. Be disgusted and do these things out loud in your circles. White privileg isn’t something you asked for nor should you feel guilty for it but you can use it to condemn those that want to diminish the message with “all lives matter”.

      4. Hi. I think that we all need to march and protest with the Black Lives Matter movement, and dare to discuss and explain it to white people who don’t understand it. And then we need to push and push for some big changes such as lengthy minimum training standards for police, and possibly taking side arms from cops. They could have rifles in their cars for truly terrible situations (mass shooters for example) but only very mentally stable and fully trained officers should have side arms. Clearly there are cops who should not have them. This change to police requirements could help to weed out cops who are in it for the wrong reasons. How do we make these changes? It will take relentless pressure and that can only happen if we talk to those who don’t understand why it’s Black Lives Matter instead of All Lives Matter. I hope this helps. This essay is beautiful and clear. Let’s all re post it for starters.

        1. That right there is a big problem,You see ,We don’t know any of that,Except that is part of history,That we do not want repeated,like all other atrocities in our history,We are made to feel responsible,when we are not ,We(I)am at a loss as to what to do.Most people I know have mixed family .We love them all.Never a difference in acceptance,until,I was called out on fb as being hate and ignorant,That I was probably saying things about my great niece s family behind her back.She has a black husband,And 3 beautiful girls ,That our whole families loves.And supports them in their life.So my question is why start some horribl stories when you don’t know the families at all.We all were happy in our life,now we are having to defend our very own life of just loving everyone.I am so hurt over our babies seeing this later.

        2. Jackie, I think you are definitely on to something. Your ideas are exactly like mine and I am sure that there are others feeling the same way. I marched during the Civil Rights movement…. I can share these thoughts and help to follow through with implementing them. Thanks to you and the writer of this blog, Latrice Ingram, for inspiring many….

      5. Julie, Intentionality is key to all of us being apart of the healing. Be ok with asking the black people (any person of color) in your life questions that may not get asked out of fear Before these things happen. Strive to be Intentional with all of your relationships it could be that you speaking life into someone of your race can help them better process racial tensions that are culturally contagious. When you do find your self getting to ask the questions you have listen to recieve not to respond, and don’t shy away from sharing your thoughts and how you feel. Being real and authentic while having healthy conversations will allow us all to show Grace when we find ourselves having hard conversations.

        Here is a glimpse of my story. I am always willing and ready to discuss the past, present and the hope I have for the future when it comes to racial tensions.

        When being BLACK did matter! | my collision
        https://mycollision.wordpress.com/2016/07/14/when-being-black-did-matter/

      6. In the same place. I have decided, though, that even though I am not capable of participating in things like sit-ins or marches (due to physical limitations), I am going to start speaking out at every chance, every opportunity I have. I hope to do it in a manner that is not insulting, judgmental, angry or negative, but informative and positive. It may be all I can do, but at least it’s something. I can no longer sit back, hesitate and wonder what I can do – so I’ll do what I can.
        Thanks you Latrice!

      7. I say for all to stay home act there age let the law do there job. That is why we have laws. As far as a color thing I am sick if the color thing . people call the race card so much it does not even have a meaning. I pray for both families and ask God to reveal the truth . We only see a small picture GOD SEES the whole picture.

        1. Dianne Modlin, If you are sick of “the color thing” stop and think how it feels for someone who is judged by nothing but their color every single day of their lives. Can you imagine that ? Can you imagine what it feels like to sit at home day after day, month after month, year after year and be humiliated, judged, and even murdured without compassion or justice? Can you imagine what it feels like to be stopped and harassed sometimes two, three, times in a few blocks trying to get home from school or work, every single day because you “fit the profile” even though you are doing nothing but walking along? If you cannot, if you cannot imagine this life then please I implore you don’t speak or offer suggestions on how those who live under these conditions every single day 24 hours a day, choose to express their pain!

      8. Hi Julie,
        You ask what you can do. Learn about racism both covert and overt. Most of us lovely white people (yes, i’m assuming you are white) don’t understand how much racism surround people of color. Most of us don’t know how we, without meaning to, commit tiny “innocent” acts of racism so often. Most of us can’t see through the eyes of someone who is judged badly simply because their skin is dark. If you have a Black Lives Matter group in you area, go to one of their white allies meetings. If you know people of color, ask them to share their experience with you. Just listen and let them talk. Thank you for asking what you should do. Now go use google to educate yourself about how to be anti-racist. And god bless.

      9. I am with you Julie!(Almost middle-aged, mom of four)
        Check out this: I just heard about her but just signed up to receive her emails: latashamorrison.com and her ministry is beabridgebuilder.com
        Maybe this, too as the other comments helps to guide us in the direction we need to go..towards unity.

      10. Julie, you just said a mouth full. Just reading your words made me see your concern, and it immediately brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for asking the question if nothing else, but I know you won’t stop there. I believe you, sister. Thank you for caring about us.

      11. One of the best things white Christians can do is Love your neighbor as yourself! Make calls to your lawmakers and attorneys to help change legislation concerning the consequences of law enforcement who participate in these heinous acts. This is the perfect time to deny self and stand on the side of righteousness.

      12. Julie, I appreciate your dilemma. Sometimes it is hard to “take action” or even know what action to take. I don’t know where you live but I know that there are many groups around the country, and for that matter online, that are dealing with just these issues. Here are just few organizations/ideas: 1. SURJ (showing up for racial justice) 2. Proud Christians Against Racism 3. Moral Mondays 4. NAACP 5. Google “what’s a white person to do about racism?”

        My hope is, as you look around, you will find something that feels like a good fit. There are many folks in your position. Perhaps you can find someone doing anti-racist work and organize a gathering where folks can talk about just this! Just a thought. Wishing you the best of luck in finding your way!

      13. Hi Julie, I am also a white middle aged woman and I ha e felt the same. I always come up with: I have got to talk about it. I must having friends whose sons are cops. I must have influence in some lives that make a difference. AND i also know that It must be dealt with in all humility so we don’t put the.cops or their families on the.defensive. THEN as ‘harmless sweet little old ladies’ we can deliver perhaps the biggest wallop this needs. The hand that rocks the cradle, etc. Never underestimate the power of an older woman. Stand up and claim your dowager princess status you daughter of the.Most High and be called blessed.

      14. Thank you, Julie; I appreciate your comment! I too am a middle-aged white woman. The only thing I know to do is to speak out against injustice when I see or hear about it, and (like our beautiful sister in Christ did above) encourage my fellow Christians to be empathetic to the situations and needs of others.
        I firmly believe that we, as white Americans, have a responsibility to speak out on behalf of our black brothers & sisters, whose cries of pain are being minimized and dismissed. The songwriter Billy Crockett wrote a song called “Love the World” that has a line: “nobody’s free til we all are free.” The bottom line? If one of us is suffering, we are all suffering.

    2. Thank you for you feelings and understanding of what we who are not people of color don’t understand though many of us want to. Help us support you and yours so that we can join in the change process to stop these needless deaths.

    3. I am Micheal Moores cousin and despite what everyone thinks, our family has been torn apart especially the younger children. I have been in the Army for 25 years and never have I been so disgusted to serve a country that doesn’t feel that I matter.

    4. I don’t understand what it’s like to be black. I am white and I DO care. I was taught a little song by my mother when I was just a child. “Jesus loves the little children, all the children. If the world. Red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in his sight! Jesus loves the little children of the world.” So do I. I’m so sad about the state of our world. I pray soon for the return of Jesus so we can all just go home.

    5. Patrice,thank you for the reminder. I am a 68 white woman who can say from my heart there is no hatred in my heart for people who have a different skin color than me. My Italian grandfather sat with me at the kitchen table and told me to never judge a person by the color of their skin but by what is their heart. I live by this.
      I was in the medical field and three years after I retired I ran into one of my old patients at a chiropractors office and went I was leaving she called me her comforter. She said I let her hold my hand no matter how hard she squeezed and I rubbed her back. I knew who she was and for her to remember me for this filled my heart with pride knowing I made that impression. I have her a hugh hug. I care. I hate how the bad police are getting away with these terrible crimes. I pray for u all.

    6. You are forgetting something – he had a LONG criminal history.
      You are forgetting something – we don’t yet really know if he had a gun or not. You are making judgement calls without knowledge.
      Anyone, black or white, who makes judgement calls without knowledge perpetuates hate and racism.

      1. So because “he” had a long criminal history of incidents that happened in the past, he deserved to be killed in the present? One’s past mistakes should not condemn them to death. You’re doing exactly what she has asked you not to do-rationalizing.

      2. I agree , Melvin! My son wouldn’t be sitting in a park with a gun, play or real. My son has a reputation as a peacemaker, not an agitator, . My son respects authorities. If he did get into trouble, we would demand the truth from HIM, not the police. I agree that I can’t see from the black perspective, but are you really trying to see the police perspective?

    7. You are righ, I have no idea what it is to be black. I have no idea what you have gone through before or endure each day. I have many beloved friends of ALL colors and ethnic backgrounds. I have family that are mixed with black & other nationalities. When I look at your family I see a beautiful family & not a black man & woman with black children. Just as when I look at my daughter’s best friend and her beautiful children that are East Indian and Muslim- I don’t see a group of terrorists. They’re a sweet, kind and loveing family. She has been my daughter’s best friend for nearly 20 years and both my daughter and I adore her. She is the friend that remains after her “white friends” have gone their own way. She has black friends that’s remained close as well and they are truly precious pearls, each & everyone. I have a niece and nephew that are of mixed blood but all I see are beautiful children.

      No, I cannot fathom what you or any other black person has had to endure but I love you and care.

      I also know that two wrongs don’t make make one right. I know there’s wrong on both sides just as there is right on both sides. We have got to be able to see beyond the skin and in to the hearts of people regardless of what the color of the skin, religion, or background.
      Police officers are like Pastors and Doctors, everyone expects them to be a little more than human and a little less than God. There is no such happy medium! They’re just men like the local mechanic( that can not repair every car) or the cook at the local restaurant that sometimes does not get the right amount of seasoning in her food. The Pastor cannot lead everyone to God, the Doctor can not heal every patient and the All Police officers are not honorable. But is it fair to condemn them all for the actions of the few. I believe that at most Pastors are truly Men of God trying to do His Work; I believe most Doctors care deeply for their patients and do all that is in their power to save each one to the best of their ability. And I believe most Police Officers are doing the best they can to serve and protect the rights of the families in their communities.
      NO, they will not always get it right. And just as I don’t know what it is to be black, I also am not a Pastor, a Doctor or a Police officer and cannot comprehend what it is like to be Black, a Pastor, a Doctor or a Police Officer. But I love and care for all of them equally and pray that God will send His Angels to lead, guide and protect each and everyone of them. I l pray that God will give equal measure of Love and understanding to all mankind that we can learn to care for one another as the Bible teaches and learn to live in harmony and trust with each other.
      The Bible says: Honor thy Father and Mother! The flip side of that commandment I believe is: Father and Mother be honorable.
      We must learn to be honorable and love our neighbors in action as well as word.
      No, I am not black but I Love You!
      I pray that God will give us all the PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING and the ability to love unconditionally without the color of the skin being a deciding factor. God bless and keep you!

      1. Kathryn, what a beautiful and well said letter. If each person we meet felt this way we could make our world a better place. God bless you.

    8. Amen…With tears in my eyes every time another murder happens I tell my kids I am praying for them and their families, I don’t know what to say to my friends, as I think it could have been them. God protect us all and heal all the brokeness Think deep and pray before going some where,. This is the hardest times in our lives none of it makes sense. Walk in Love lead by Love, God is with us and if you need anything let me know, we will find a way.

    9. The very title of your commentary is enough to show your position about people. In the very title you begin with divisiveness by calling out people by a color – “white”. The title then calls them “friend” while your article conveys that you feel otherwise.
      As I commented to a friend about the facts surrounding the shooting, rather than to honestly review the facts and consider them, she decided that the facts I shared were “intollerant” and then decided to unfriend me. (Who was the really intolerant one, I must ask)
      Unlike my “friend”, I hope you will pursue the truth and open your mind to all sides of the story.
      I hope you will update your article to include the facts as they are currently known, else it may as well be discounted as politically divisive or for other motives as are being transmitted.
      This man was a known felon who fired upon police officers in 2005. As a felon, it is unlawful for him to have a firearm. He in fact had a firearm; even as shown in the video his wife recorded. He was lawfully ordered by officers to drop the gun and to stay where he was. Instead, he moved into a better position by which it could be reasonably assumed he was going to commit an assault on officers with a firearm, again.
      Please tell us that your husband is not a gun-toting felon who will not abide by lawful directives from police, but rather attempt to hunt them down. Also, please tell us that you’re teaching your children to respect and comply with police officer orders when they are playing with guns. I taught my children to respect law enforcement.
      Thanks.

      1. I’m her white Christian friend. I’m white. I’m a Christian. I’m her friend. The post is not about a specific incident and you’ve failed to see and hear the heart ofthe writer.

      2. Dude,You are truly the problem and not part of the solution! By your comments I have to assume that you are not a Christian and that the crys and bloodshed of the innocent is falling on deaf ears with you! I speak from experience because I was a victim of police brutality! I was assaulted then officer lied and said I tried to take his gun! I’m truly blessed to be alive! Please examine your heart if you have one because right now you are the problem.

    10. All I hear is everybody blaming the cops and the cops alone and she saying this is a white problem that we need to fix this what about all of the blacks that are criminals that cause the cops to be in this mindset and it’s not just blacks being shot but nobody wants to talk about all the whites their shot by cops that are misbehaving and not doing as they’re told cops have to make it home at the end of the night to their family now I’m not saying that all the shootings were right but some are everybody just wants to see cops shooting blacks when some of them are not doing what they’re supposed to and some are causing the shootings and then some cops have shot for no reason but you can’t blame them all and you can’t blame just the police and say it’s just a white person problem I come from Los Angeles you go hang out down there in a community’s wear black and Mexican gangs rule and see what kind of behavior goes on down there that causes cops to be like this and just think this way that they need to protect themselves from everybody not just the games you got people that are trying to kill cops all over like the cop was attacked the cops were attacked by a Muslim there in New York with a hatchet I find it ridiculous that people are trying to make blacks out to be the victim and the victim only and make the cops the bad guys granted there are some bad apples but this is a two-way street

    11. I am sorry for each one who has lost a loved one. I hate what I see on tv and I pray. I can’t imagine what it is like to be black. I am very white. I say that because I am so fair. I have met some wonderful black people. When my daughter was in Germany I met Benin da and Fred. Great couple whom we had lots of fun with. They are black but we are the same underneath the skin color. Lori would babysit her boys and she would babysit for Lori.
      We are made in God’s image. My prayer is for people to treat one another as they want treated. There are good and bad. You can’t go by skin color.

    12. Thank you,
      Thank you,
      Thank you!
      As a white person, I’m struggling with how to help (besides protests). My black minister suggested,”if you see a black man interacting with the police, stop and be a witness.” It had never crossed my mind. But a great concrete way to support people of color. A step. Something. And prayer, lots and lots of prayer!

    13. I’ve been praying my sister. And my hope is that in Christ, we can unite. I have concerns, and thoughts about the narrative, but like you, I have greater feelings of empathy toward the cruelty, and suffering experienced by my brothers and sisters of humanity. I see unimaginable grief and callousness. I have friends whom are black, asian, native american, anglo, gay, transgendered, … but I was born white and male. No matter. I see others through the lens I choose, which is Christ, the lover of humanity. Thank-You for your heartfelt post, and that is one beautiful family picture! May inner peace and joy exude from the inner hearts of your family. Peace.
      Thaddeus

    14. I am truly sorry for hurtful responses you have gotten, and I don’t want mine to be one of those, but it could be depending on how you take it. I am curious where a man was shot while reading a book? I am guessing that it was in Charlotte where it turned out that not only did the man have a gun, there was no book whatsoever. I want you to know that as people of white skin, many of us struggle with anger when after every police shooting of a black man, there is an automatic backlash against us, even when the police officer was black. Of all the shootings that have been in the news the past few years, when the truth finally came to light, only a small percentage actually turned out to be the fault of police. I agree that a few is still too many, but I think much of your hurt and anger are directed at the wrong people. If I were basically made a fool by the news media, and friends of some of those who really did turn out to be criminals, I would be upset at them as well, and next time they try to fan the flames of racial division, I would wait until the facts have come out instead of believing the ones who lied to me and got me so upset and angry before. We now know that in the Charlotte shooting that family and friends lied about a book, and the news media deliberately withheld information. It had already been reported by police and some of the witnesses that the man had a gun, but a day later at least one TV news station was still making it sound as if all the witnesses claimed the man only had a book. This was deliberate, because controversy brings more viewers and more advertisements, and if it escalates to rioting, then they really get more people tuning in. It’s callous and sick, and yet the next time a police shooting happens, the cycle continues and the same people forget that if it turns out the man real criminal, we should already know that his friends and family are going to lie for him! And the news media are going to run with that because they can see the dollar signs. Yes, I think about those few times when it has turned out to be a police officer who should have never had a badge. I am retired from law enforcement, and I have had to work with a few of those, and the time couldn’t come soon enough to see them stripped of that badge. However, in the Charlotte shooting, it was apparent what the so called “victim” had in mind. He was hoping by keeping the gun to his side that police would hold off on shooting until he was far enough around the truck to get a shot at the officers. Many criminals consider it a badge of honor to kill a police officer, and the only reason in this case that we did not have two dead police officers is because of the experience and training of the Black officer who fired the shots. There are no winners in these situations. A man is dead and his family suffers, although in the Charlotte case, it’s hard to have sympathy after the lies they told which ended up with a good officer being ostracized and a city subjected to night after night of violence, burning and looting. I also feel for a police officer and his family who have to live with their own hurts. I realize that many things need to be done to bridge what appears to be a widening of divide of racial tension, but until white people like me quit automatically blaming the Black or African American community every time these things happen, and until the black community quits blaming everything on police and white people, the divide will only continue. We both must be willing to take some criticism and say what can we as white people do to help, while those in the black community take a look in the mirror and see that there are things that need correcting there also. I am now 69 years old, and I can remember growing up when racism was much stronger than now, but I also remember how many white people spoke admiringly about how close knit people of color were, but I think in some way that is a bit of a curse also because what I seem to see is that many are unwilling to admit that, yes, my kids are not perfect and neither are my people. I think most whites know that we have done some bad things, but I just see so many blacks who just can’t fathom that when there is conflict between a black and white person, that the black man could be the bad guy. I know that it could be either way, and if it turns out to be a bad white guy, I’m not going to defend his actions, and neither will I defend a black man if it turns out he was at fault. I have said a lot all ready, and I don’t know what else to say, but let’s not rush to judgement when things happen. That’s called pre-judging, or prejudice. Blacks have been the victims of prejudice way too often to see many of them becoming guilty of it themselves. Let’s quit jumping to conclusions every time the news media tries to stir things up by reporting rumors and half truths. Your voice will carry much more weight if you don’t try to accuse police, or white people being at fault in every incident. Again, I don’t intend for this to be another hurtful response, but I couldn’t just I couldn’t stop with just “I care,” when you have jumped to judgement of police officers shooting an unarmed man while reading a book. Do you not care about the hurt that has caused? I hope you do care now that the truth is out that the shooter was a black officer that would have been dead had he waited for the man to raise his weapon and fire. Having said that, I do care about you and your family and your community. Let’s let others do the finger pointing, and let us be the example we will not only look at what the other can do, but also what I can do.

      1. I totally concur with your sentiments, Dale. Well put. My husband’s truck got damaged that night at the fists of the black people who chose to hold up the interstate. All to support the cause that BLM? It didn’t win us over. Would it win anyone over?

  1. So good, Latrice. We have not come nearly far enough. I will never know what it’s like to wear your skin. I will never know what it’s like to send your children, especially your boys, out into the world and wonder if they will be seen as threatening merely for existing. I will never know what it’s like to be asked to speak for an entire people group. I will never know what it’s like have my behavior speak for a entire people group. I will stand with you and listen to you and most importantly pray with you. Thank you for sharing your heart, Latrice.

  2. Thank you for a thoughtful and honest blog. I DON’T understand what it is to be a person of color, who is treated differently and unfairly. And I am fearful of the climate in our country. I love you and your family and am praying for our neighborhoods, our city and our country.

  3. Oh Latrice! My heart aches for you and my many many African American friends. I am so sorry, and so sad for the state of our nation. I pray for protection, for suport, for you and your beautiful family. I love you sweetie. I pray for change. I want to live in a place where you my dear friend do not have to worry about your husband, and sons. The Lincoln Chief of Police reached out to me to help him and his officers. I am having coffee with him on Monday. I am going to share your blog with him. 💖U friend.

  4. I don’t know you, but your written word resonated with me. My heart is broken. I sure wish I could carry your burden. I’m not sure what else to say, but I’m so sorry; its not fair, and it’s disgusting. I’m doing the best I can to bring awareness, change our community, and do my part to better things. . Black lives matter!!!

  5. Thank you for sharing your heart. I will be honest. I struggle. See, my husband is a LEO, investigator currently. In college I studied social and racial inequality that offered a research-based perspective that I had never seen before and it upsets me that it took a bunch of fancy scholars for me to see it at the magnitude that it is ingrained in our society. What I struggle with is being sympathetic to this form of social injustice and not associating it with anti-police because I support my husband and the important work he does. I know that Black Lives Matter for many is not anti-police…I know this, but I still struggle. I continue to pray for our nation, and pray hard for its healing and growth.

    1. I care also. Since Travon Martin these killings keep happening and it is making me sick. I am praying that these cold hearts will change and also that our police would have to have counseling and better training. My heart aches for you and praying for change. Mary

  6. You’re the best. And I love you and your family. I’m so sorry ffor the pain and the fear. Thanks for helping me in my journey to better understand.

  7. Thank you Latrice. This is so right. I worry every day about my son living in NYC. He is an amazing young man but just as you say, all I can do is pray for him. Keep writing & speaking the truth!

  8. I just can’t imagine the fear. I can’t believe that this is happening in the world. I can’t believe that we have not evolved as a country, and I see that we are moving backwards, I feel like we’re headed back to the unrest of the 1950’s and 60’s. I’m appalled, saddened, and angry. And I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. Where is the humanity in the world? I’m hoping that people of all colors will stand up for what’s right and support our black friends and community. We all need to be outraged by this to make a change.

  9. I am so sorry, Latrice, that I have not been caring enough. I will think about what you have written. I care about my Black Christian friends, and don’t project that out to others. You have brought tears to my eyes. Thanks so much.

  10. The underlying problem is the “gun culture” that prevails across far too much of America, black and white alike. Unless and until carrying a gun aroundbecomes as uncool as drunk driving- an example of how popular culture change is possible – these heartbreaking stories will just keep on recurring. Here in Britain mere possession of an unlicensed firearm gets you 5 years in prison!

    1. That’s interesting Nigel, and has merit, as a separate subject, that’s not ‘The’ problem, that’s (a) problem, and its not the one Latrice so poetically introduced, look at the picture, re read her statement, she’s putting a human face on a problem some tend to dehumanize.

  11. Well said Latrice, I read every heartfelt word. Thank for putting words and understanding to a very hard part of our everyday lives. 💘

  12. I don’t have the pleasure of knowing you, but I wish I did. I’m a 55 year old white female, who always thought of herself as not racist. I’m realizing that, whether I want to admit it or not, I am – and I’m ashamed. Your words have touched me deeply and prompted me to take stock of myself. I DON’T understand what it’s like to be black, to have the discrimination and the profiling and all the other ugly things that come with being black, directed at me and my loved ones. I will pray while I’m striving to be a better person and a strong Christian.

    Thank you for your heartfelt words, and God bless you and your family.

  13. This World is a mess. I do believe until we change it by our commitment to our Lord, it is only to get worse. We are to love one another as He has loved us.
    I am so sorry this is still going on. Prayers going up that all of us can live in peace. We are brothers and sisters in Him.

  14. I think we respond the way we do because we don’t know what else to do. We can’t fix social injustice it has always been, it will always be… this side of heaven anyway. Yes we pray but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough so we say ALL lives matter..because they do and because this seems like just one more thing we can’t do anything about..like abortion. We want to put all of the problems in one basket and say we can’t do anything about any of it. I don’t know the answer, I know I can be kind..on person at a time..I know I can pray for understanding when I see people jumping on total strangers cars and wonder “how does that fix anything?” I can pray for those that hurt but I feel helpless to do anything to make the change that needs to happen. Our hope is in Christ Jesus and the next world, this world is full of sin and therefore will never change. Come Lord Jesus Come.

    1. I appreciate your sentiments, and you’re spot on, the problems of this world are, without Devine intervention, unsolvable. One caution though, when someone brings up a concern, and another person responds with a separate concern, although valid, it distracts from the subject introduced i.e. it would be rude of me to go to Save the Whales rallies and keep bringing up the dwindling rain forest. All Lives Matter, is a generic truism, but it wasn’t a phrase till someone said Black Lives Matter, which, in context, is a legitimate problem.

    1. Hi Valarie.

      I appreciate your comment but the answer is not “because sin exists the only thing we can do is pray”. Yes, prayer is our first step as Christians but it is not our last. You underestimate the blood that runs through your veins. The same blood that rose Jesus from the dead lives in us. We do not stand idle as the enemy attacks the black community. We put on the armor of God and defend our fellow Christians.
      We don’t say sin exist there’s nothing we can do. We don’t have an attitude of defeat. What if the millions of people who fight against world trafficking said “sin exist and it will never change so all we can do is pray?”
      No person would ever get recused from that slavery. WE ARE THE HANDS AND FEET OF JESUS. He has equipped us to fight the battle of sin here on earth through his power. Do not let the enemy allow you to think that nothing can be changed. We serve the creator of the universe. Who calls all Christians to carry each other’s burdens. Get up. Go out and help as well as pray. Show your faith in your pray to Jesus with actions. If you don’t know how to help, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal how to help. He is willing to reveal anyway to help his children. Reach out to anyone in the black community that you know. Don’t let the fear and uncomfortability of this situation keep you from helping. Jesus didn’t give us a spirit of fear. He tells us do not be afraid for I am with you. The Lord does not call us to be comfortable it’s not in our Christian description. He called us to heal the sick, feed the poor, and help those in need not be comfortable. I break of the spirit of defeat and fear in the name of Jesus. Receive it. Go out and stand for the justice and freedom for all because Jesus died for our right to have it.

  15. I want to say thank you. You and your husband are amazing people. When you met me, you treated me well and accepted me into your home. Just as you mentioned here in your blog. I feel I’m doing my part in our diverse comunity. I teach my two boys that no matter what skin color we have, we need to treat all people with respect. I get so angered by all the negativity in the news regarding all the racial things that have happened. One that makes me over raged with anger is the man who was shot because he was caring for the autistic young man…my oldest son who is just a few month younger than your oldest boy is autistic, I fear for his future also, because he does not under social cues. He sometimes acts like that young man. The guy who was trying to protect the autistic man was doing all that the cops had told him, and was even still shot…..and we never hear the end of the story, or if their is any help to the families involved, the families who lost their children, husbands, family….I do care, I just don’t know how to help, but try to continue to teach my children, our children who are the next generation….to treat all people with respect….. and I would love to visit with you for coffee, and a play date with our children….your sister in Christ, Christene.

  16. I have many colored friends, red and yellow black and white-they are precious in His sight..But what I am struggling with is….How is this racial? In nearly each sad incident there has been a black officer involved..most recently it was a black officer that fired the fatal shot. ..And at what point so we stop to think maybe the officers are terrified too, they are targets too, there will always be good and evil as long as the earth is here..I Do NOT have the answers but I have a promise from God that one day He will come.

    1. MANGA…did you even read this article?! Are you that obtuse to this issue to hear the cries of a woman that is looking for support and encouragement from the body of Christ? Look at the picture of her family, imagine one of her family members being shot by a black police officer and say those words to her as she stands over their dead body…”you know, the police officers are terrified too, they are targets too.”

      MANGA, you need to check your heart and ask yourself why you responded to her article in the way that you did?! May God give you grace.

      1. Bendin- I hope you see that you are the biggest problem we face in this battle.
        A Person asked a question- brought up a point that NEEDS to be discussed, Both sides of this argument are so caught up in rage, and demeaning, and name calling that DISCUSSION is not happening – and division is growing. MANGA expressed love for all people and posed a question that millions are struggling with. No angry or belittling words. And rather than reply with your PERSPECTIVE, you lash out with the most angry response on this entire blog. You attacked him or her personally for having questions in their heart about a very complex, emotional situation. How does that educate? How does that clarify? How does that do anything but fuel the conflict, perpetuate the controversy and make this confused person say, black people are angry and unreasonable? Instead of asking this other person, “Why would you post something like this – you need to check your heart!” Ask yourself, why did I overreact in rage? Maybe if I checked my heart – maybe if we all checked our hearts and discussed this important issue in love instead of rage – we could mend relationships instead of making them worse and worse with our rants, rage and blind social media attacks.

        1. Dear Saddened…it’s almost comical (if it wasn’t so heartbreaking) to see the level of hypocrisy in your statement. You judge me for challenging the statements of MANGA, and claim that “I am the biggest problem we face in the battle”. You judge me for judging? You claim that I’m making the issue worse with my “rants & rage”…and that of course means your post is filled with love, kindness and perfectly motivated comments?!

          Just for the record…I’m not and black person, but I can see your biased assumption based on your lack of empathy or understanding of these issues. It’s easy for person like you to make these comments online in the safety of your home and neighborhood. I’d encourage you to actually involve yourself in the lives of people that are struggling with this everyday, rather than trolling these sights.

          Yes, I am making a judgment against ignorant statements, and yes I am angry..but don’t ignorantly assume that anger is wrong. Try living in the world of those that deal with injustice everyday, and you’ll understand why people are angry. You’ll understand why Jesus overturned the tables at His Father’s temple, or why Moses destroyed the tablets of the law. You’ll see why Paul railed against the Galatians for perverting the gospel or why God wanted to destroy Israel and start over with Moses.

          MANGA did not express love in his comments because they were against the very thing this article is about?! How is it loving to ignore the content of the article and do the very thing it is asking us to NOT do?

          You are correct that I attacked him and his question…because his question was obtuse and ignorant. Why not ask a Jew during the Holocaust, “don’t you think the Nazi’s are a little scared too and just following orders?” Why not ask an abused woman “don’t you think your abuser was afraid and just pressured by his friends?” If you and I see such stupidity in the light of evil, we should get angry, and we should respond. To do any less is evil and NOT loving.

          Saddened…are you more saddened by my post, or the evil against our fellow brothers and sisters of color? Does your response actually make anything better, or just perpetuate the ignorance of most Christians when it comes to the issue of racial inequality? Do you really think we can “mend our relationships” through an online comment post…or do you think it’ll actually mean we need to get involved in each others lives away from our computer screens?

          Saddened…I may be the biggest problem in this comment section…but your attitude continues to contribute to one of the biggest problems in this world.

          Please grow up and realize that real love is not just getting upset about these posts…go do something (Luke 10:37).

          1. seeing how beautifully she is raising her children, it is more likely that one of her children will be the African American officer, being judged by a nation that doesn’t have all the information on a story…

      2. Of course police are scared, but that’s why they need to be trained to handle their fear and do everything they can to de-escalate a situations. They have all the power and their first response should never be to shoot! The most frightening and enlightening example of the systemic racism that exists in law enforcement is when somebody from a helicopter actually said that the victim in Tulsa looked like a “bad dude”…really????

      3. Manga, the issue is the fact we have a culture that has an underlying current of racial inequality. We have stereotypes that continue to be promoted that promote a fear that black people are inherently more violent. That not only affects how a white person thinks, it can also distort how people see themselves and others.

        Rather than focusing on the many demographics and probable causes why a particular section of a city is more prone to crime, we just pick one and say “look it’s mostly blacks who live there”. Poverty, hunger, weak schools, and the other factors are trivialized. Worse when we see students largely doing poorly in a school we decrease the resources, assuming it’s a lack of desire, when they may just be hungry or unable to get help from parents working multiple jobs. It’s a downward spiral. A white person from the same background is just as likely to become a criminal.

        That said the training we give officers is lacking somehow. I understand their job is hard and scary, but they are resorting to a shoot first mentality that is bad for all. I love law enforcement. I value them highly and feel they need to be protected, but I am still adamant this needs to stop! Their fear goes up and they turn to lethal options first, that shouldn’t be the case. Add in that underlying current that tells all of us everyday a black man is more likely to be violent, and yes, even a black officer will react with lethal force. Of course all lives matter, but that’s not really in question, it never was. From my understanding, which is limited as a young white woman, their call of black lives matter is simply a plea for all of us to stop for a moment, think, and through our actions reassure them we believe that too. Sorry this is longer than I intended, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while myself.

    2. MANGA, this issue is not the color of the officer. The issue is that policing practices and policies are not equitably applied for all people and have instilled fear in the hearts and minds of law enforcement that the black or brown body (males in particular) is to be feared. So, if an officer encounters a black male, the aim is not to deescalate the situation, which is the case most often when the person is not a person of color. The issue is that white people in the same situation (i.e. armed or unarmed, etc.) are 5 times less likely to be killed by the police. What needs to be understood in this piece is that a white family does not have to have this same conversation. Police are a valuable and important part of our society. The concerns being raised by this dear sister and others are ones of the difference in treatment for people of color in similar situations.

      So I recently wrote in a post that the Christian community and those who comprise it will never achieve or experience “the beloved community” that Dr. King spoke of until every member of the community knows they are a valued part of it. “There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” Red and yellow, black and white are all precious in the sight of God — so much so that Jesus gave His life.

      If Jesus thought black and brown lives were worth it, shouldn’t we?

      1. Thank you for your incredibly insightful response. You make it sound so simple and in actuality it is, IF we all truly loved and cared about one another and understood that that which affects one of us directly, affects all of us indirectly!!! Again, thank you!

    3. There is an underlying tolerance, permission, and, encouragement of inherent racism that trickles down from the top of the men in blue, it affects black officers as well as many that had never exhibited racial tendencies. The fact that some Africans sold fellow Africans into slavery doesn’t mean slavery wasn’t a racial problem. I hope this was helpful.

    4. You are really, really not getting it. Please attempt to educate yourself. Black Lives Matter Also. Black men are the ones getting killed. The color of the officer and his or her terror are not the point. Praying for when Jesus comes again is certainly NOT what Jesus would have done in this situation. Saying there is good and evil on earth is a huge cop out to pre
      vent you from doing anything. Do you think Mother Teresa said “Oh well, there is good and evil. I’ll pray for Jesus to come again”?

    5. That’s the problem…when you present the truth, they refuse to except it. They are deaf and continue to blame others for their problems and actions.

  17. I am white, a Christian and I care. We need to spread the word of caring and need for change. I hear what your blog says. I can’t put myself in your shoes, but we all need to show God’s love to everyone. We also need to communicate on the issue. Thanks for starting that communication. Blessings to you.

  18. Latrice, this was so beautifully written, and it helps me feel a tiny bit of what you feel. I know I’ll never stand in your shoes or those of anyone else of color, but I do care. I care because God cares. There are many of us who love you and your family and hope you know that.

  19. I am white and I married a black woman (we are both Christians too). I learned a lot about my ignorance right away, and I am still learning. Thirteen years and five children later, my ignorance (though nowhere near what it was) is still being revealed. People need to listen more and to care more. Including me. There is freedom and empowerment in knowledge, and that comes from the bravery of listening with humility. Thank you for writing this.

  20. I am a Christian, Canadian, white woman. I don’t understand what it’s like to be black and I especially don’t understand what it’s like to be black in America right now. But I am married to a strong black man and we have two beautiful children. These heartbreaking stories resonate deeply with me and I can say with all that is in me: Black Lives Truly Matter. So Latrice, please know that I stand beside you, I hear you and I am praying.

  21. As a white sister in Christ, I don’t understand the fear, anger, frustration, desperation, or despair in a personal way. But I can surely mourn and cry and weep and pray. And listen. And affirm. And I can share your post. Thank you for being vulnerable.

  22. I’ll admit at the beginning of this, I wanted to go on the defensive. However, I’m glad I finished reading because I agree with your points. The thing that’s missing for me is the lack of denouncing the violence taking place in response to the police shootings. I teach my children to turn the other cheek and that two wrongs never make a right. I will say the riots (sorry, cannot call what I’ve seen protests) are forcing particularly the church to face the issues, perhaps that is the what God is working out of this for our good…for our growth. May we all pray for the Lord to direct our thoughts and actions so that we might reflect the light of Christ more and more to the lost.

    1. Why does every single Black person have to denounce the violence of a few people, but White people never feel a need to denounce the violence committed against us by White people or the system of White supremacy?

      As a Christian, I am continually appalled by this conditional sympathy I see from White Christians. “I’ll feel for you IF you denounced the bad behavior of these people you don’t know.”

      We have protested for DECADES and there have been very few riots. But all some White people ever see or talk about are riots.

      Which is why we keep having to protest the same problems over and over again that White people refuse to face are going on in the first place.

      My soul is weary of this. Weary.

      1. This is unfortunately a very common human defense mechanism. Here it is, “You can’t speak out against racism unless you simultaneously denounce violent protests!” and “You can’t really say anything about police violence without simultaneously denouncing black on black crime!”, but it is also “You can’t speak out against abortion without denouncing the clinic shooter!” and “You can’t talk about sexual immorality without denouncing those who commit violence against gays!” etc, etc.

        AND IT’S NOT TRUE! One CAN speak out against one evil without having to address all attending and related issues; one does not automatically approve everything one does not explicitly and simultaneously denounce.

      2. I think its because all the media likes to report on is the riots. I have to go searching for better stories than the rioters who would be anyone of any race in a different circumstance. I haven’t seen any well organized protests and I believe you saying there have been protests for decades. I have watched hollywood movies and read books about slavery and it boggles my mind how few people seem to have denounced that violence. Im sorry you’re weary. I can’t imagine feeling like a target because of being a certain skin color. I have felt a tiny bit of discrimination for being a woman at times and that stinks so I couldn’t imagine being afraid to die in a traffic stop and I’m not even talking about the Scott case necessarily. You’d think that since the cops are wearing bullet proof vests they could be trained to deescalate things a bit longer. I am just giving my opinion I have no idea their training.

  23. Beautiful Latrice. Thank you for your honesty and your well written blog post. I am listening. I’m embarrassed about the very comments other white people are making. I’ve seen them too and I hate those comments too. I care.

  24. Beautifully written. I will never know what it’s like to live in your skin but you have my heart. I hope and pray as my heart breaks over and over amidst the chaos of our world. Come Jesus. Come.

  25. I am sorry, but I feel the need to comment, and forgive me, because you’re not going to like my answer. Yes, these shootings are a tragedy, but most of them could have been avoided.

    Romans 13New International Version (NIV)

    Submission to Governing Authorities
    13 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. 4 For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

    The above chapter makes it pretty clear, these men made mistakes and it cost them their lives. Your writing leaves out several key facts and tells a half truth, we all know a half truth is a lie. Treyvon Martin, attacked a man, he died because of it, Michale Brown, attacked a cop and tried to grab his gun, he got shot, Tamir Rice had a gun, in a split second no one could tell it was fake, he pointed a fake gun at police, got shot, Castile, refused to follow orders, got shot, Stearling, a career criminal, carrying a gun, got shot, Crutcher, refused to follow orders, got shot ( the most troubling one. And, this happens too white people also, not just black. Google Dylan Noble, you’ll see. No media coverage, no riots, no protest. It does nothing but racially divide us when you ignore these facts.

      1. Latrice, many of us hear you! Not all of us would ever say those things to you. Not all of us are “christian”. I am a Jew; many of us live by the words of Rabbi Heschel who said- “A Jew is asked to take a leap of action, rather than a leap of faith.” And we wouldn’t quote Talmud to justify racist beliefs. Stay strong, keep writing, keep speaking out.

      2. Here is a scripture for you, Todd – Galatians 6:2 – Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

        I wonder if you are an ardent supporter of the Constitution – the one that gives us all the right to due process under the law. Not summary execution on the sidewalk.

        That’s not allowed in Romans, either, by the way.

      3. You literally do not know what you don’t know and have just made a fool of yourself. You are Ignorant and entitled. Shame on you. Get some education.

      4. Todd,

        It’s kinda weird to see a Christian brother respond to a Christian sister by telling her her feelings don’t matter and that you have advice for her which says she is wrong in what she thinks or feels.

        Perhaps what Latrice has asked from you is something you missed out the first time you read this?

        What she’s asking is for you to listen.

        She has access to the same Bible you do. Maybe she has read it.

        When she asks you for your take on Romans 13, feel free to give it.

        Meanwhile, think about what I Corinthians 13 says to us all, including you as a white American male, and think how you might represent that in your own life.

        If you need a summary verse for I Corinthians 13, you can go all Old Testament and refer to Micah 6:8

        “He has shown you, O man,
        What is good and what the LORD requires of you.
        To do justly
        To love mercy
        To walk humbly with your God.”

        Somewhere in all the preaching about what others should do the heart of the gospel got lost. Which is weird, right? I encourage you to heed your own advice, follow Scripture, and let Holy Spirit speak to you about how to grieve and mourn and weep and laugh, as Scriptures say, and why it is you think that a lecture is the proper response to a statement of personal anguish.

    1. Todd Underwood…what you have written here is at the level of human excrement. Please let me know when one of your family members makes a mistake and gets killed so I can tell you how you are telling half truths…I mean lies! Shame on you Todd, since you have no shame! You are not forgiven and your answer is not worth the effort. Please go away and never come back.

    2. I think Latrice accurately describes a fear I can’t understand and I do have compassion and can appreciate the why.

      I was once witness to a policeman being shot and killed by an unarmed man in the streets. This man rushed the policeman, they struggle. People from the streets started to head to help the policeman but before they could the man ended up with the policeman’s gun. The policeman ran and the man unloaded the bullets killing the policemen in broad daylight in front of a crowd of people. He stood over the policeman’s body shooting him until there were no more bullets. People were frantic. It was a horrific scene to watch unfold to say the least.

      As someone who has not been in a situation where you had to make these kind of decisions of life or death I find it hard to conclude the shootings are racial or not racial or justified or not justified. Regardless they are heartbreaking. I can tell you having seen firsthand a surprising turn of events where a policeman’s life was taken that I now find it hard to judge the policeman if you aren’t there and don’t have the facts. And our media doesn’t help us out.

      We shouldn’t have to live in fear of being gunned down because of our skin color. Our policeman shouldn’t have to live in fear that they will be gunned down by an unarmed man when responding to a 911 call.

      It’s a fallen world.

      Don’t be upset with Todd, he’s not disregarding what is being said in this article. He’s just pointing out that the people that get shot usually aren’t just sitting on a bench with a play gun on a sunny day doing nothing to get shot. Latrice’s family is not at risk for encounters like this with policeman just for being who they are.

      Of course we should give compassion to both parties. It’s devastating to be the policeman that shot someone. It’s devastating to be the family of the person shot. It’s terrible on both sides no matter what. And if you made a bad judgment call as a policeman, can you imagine the guilt you’d feel? If you justify the guilt, it’s a survival skill to move on. If you make a bad call as the person a policeman is questioning and get shot that’s awful, terrible.

      It’s a fallen world. It’s sad. Hating Todd for trying to see both sides doesn’t help.

      1. Actually, Kelsey, people have been getting shot who haven’t done anything wrong.

        It’s unfortunate that you don’t believe that.

        1. Yes I just read a story involving a black man that wrecked his car and the police tasered him all because he didn’t acknowledge them. He was having a stroke. I guess you can’t prove it was because of his skin color but it sure might feel like it to black people. Its not like this kind of thing is happening to any other group or race or gender. etc.

      2. Kelsey…I think you mean well, but you are very naive. You said “Latrice’s family is not at risk for encounters like this with policeman just for being who they are.” You really need to talk to other people of color that face this reality EVERYDAY. People of color, that, because of their color, face vitriol, violence and hatred from neighbors and authority figures for just being themselves.

        We’re not ‘hating’ Todd…but we are hating his ignorant comments. You think that every instance of police shootings against minorities is because they were doing something that might have looked wrong. What about the countless instances were they did exactly what the authorities asked of them, and still were killed? Maybe there was something “wrong”…maybe it was the color of their skin.

        You’ve been in one situation where you saw an officer killed. This is tragic and it gave you a level of sympathy for police officers. What if you saw this type of killing everyday, but it was against a specific people who share a similar skin color…would that help in developing a level of sympathy for that certain group of people?

        Don’t JUST be upset at Todd…get involved beyond your irritations on this comment board.

    3. Until both sides are willing to deal in truth, folks who want to hate will find a reason, ignoring truth and blasting someone for speaking truth just keeps contributing to the problem.
      As a white female in her mid 60’s with a great great grandma who was a bought and sold Indian squaw, I know it all boils down to individual heart conditions
      I live outside st Louis and have been to Fergusion to prayer gatherings
      What was happening there had nothing to do with justice
      MLK changed the world without looting
      Latrice you have a beautiful family
      I worship with all kind of ethnic groups and I understand the fear that one feels going into some neighborhoods
      Hearts grounded in Gods love is our only answer.
      You simply can legislate or force heart change. How I wish we could
      Blessings

    4. Agreed. TheFBI’s statistics clearly show that black men commit more violent crimes than men of other skin colors. The majority of law abiding citizens of any skin color never find themselves at the wrong end of a law enforcement gun.

  26. Thank you for opening up this forum. As a white woman I think you hit the nail right on the head for me when you say “I don’t know what it’s like to be black.” And please know my heart that this comes from live and wanting to understand but two questions have been plaguing me. The first is if you live in the greatest country in the world how are you suffering. (I live in a third world country and see suffering on a daily basis) Second, I have thought many of the things you posted. I would never say them to people suffering the loss of a loved one, but how do thes riots and the blatant disrespect of all authority over the actions of so few further our hope of racial unity? Again these are questions of my heart not meant to argumentative. I just really don’t understand.

    1. Ann, I think the lack of understanding may come from the same source that a lot of the lack of understanding between those of us living here stems from. We see what is published. What is published is what sells media. I live in a small town in Kansas and if I didn’t know people who are involved, I would believe that Black Lives Matter is an incendiary group trying to elevate their position at the expense of all other groups. I would believe that the only response people of color have expressed to shootings of black men by white officers is that of riots and blatant disrespect for authority. But I think that may be a side point that Latrice is trying to make: she is not rioting. She is not disrespecting authority. She is not using the opportunity of protest to break windows and rob storefronts, but this is what gets reported. What we see is the one atrocity that is committed for every thousand or hundred thousand people who try to make their voice heard in a legal, civil, mature manner. And I am very grateful to her for taking what I know is a difficult step and trying to make her voice heard.

      As for suffering… I know you see suffering. You may be suffering in your daily life yourself. And when a person suffers, it is hard to comprehend suffering different from your own. But suffering is not relegated to physical hardship. The knowledge that someday your son could be arrested and possibly shot, the knowledge that you have to teach your children survival skills just to keep them out of prison, is a suffering all its own that I cannot and I pray never will experience. The constant knowledge that if your husband drives into the wrong part of town at the wrong time of day you may, however small the possibility, never see him again has to be heartbreaking. And the fact that you don’t have to worry about how to put food in their mouths or whether or not they will die of an easily cured disease, while wonderful in and of itself, does not stop the fear and agony of that other suffering.

      I hope I haven’t offended; I try to understand and to show Christ’s love in all I do. I do pray that whatever trials you are going through, whatever dangers you live with daily, God will provide you with His peace and safety.

  27. I care and i will share.
    I will pray+ally myself with people of color because they are worried for their very lives. That’s why black lives matter, not because all lives don’t matter but because i am not being threatened the way black people are.

  28. Dear Latrice,
    Wow! This is a eye opener for me.
    I am sorry for those terribly tragic killings of your people.
    iut is true, I do not understand what it’s like to be black. I thought I had compassion on the sufferings of you and your families yet as I read your words- I’m so sad. I need to understand your suffering. I pray we Can help in the healing process somehow.
    I feel stuck and overwhelmed sometimes
    By my own problems yet I know Jesus wants me to go beyond my 4 walls. I am in Milwaukee county near its
    City and what could I do to make a good difference? I know to pray .
    I’m talking and I
    Know you are talking
    Beyond that!
    With love,
    Carol

    1. I think if we could start seeing people of color as “our” people deserving of the same civil rights we enjoy it would help a lot. The militarization of the police and the abuses of American citizen’s 4th Amendment rights is and should be deeply troubling for every freedom loving American. This loss of civil rights coupled with the potential presidency of a racist megalomaniac should be keeping every American awake at night.

      We’re in a very dangerous situation here, and we’re all in danger. They might be coming for our black and Muslim neighbors first, but if we don’t stand up now there will be no one to stand up for us or anyone later.

  29. I pray this stops, we are people and we all hurt the same, thank you for your straight forward heartfelt blog. This fighting has got to stop. continue to express these feelings to the public, help us to see life as a black woman/ person through your eyes. together we can make a change, as we talk and listen, let’s join together as Children of the one true King… from all over the country world and pray for healing, peace, faith, hope, all in the name of Jesus Christ,

  30. I am 1 of your white Christian sisters. There’s much I don’t understand, but I want you to know there’s a group of ladies who have been meeting every Thursday afternoon for about a year now to pray for our nation and other things. We don’t gossip or complain or judge. We pray and weep over what’s happening in our country, the killing, the hate, the racism, the corruption, the fear. We pray for neighborhoods and children to be safe, for good and love to win over evil and hatred. We pray for hatred and killing and racism to stop. We pray for you and families everywhere. We truly care and are praying for a mighty move of God to sweep America that will change hearts. We live several states away from you but we honestly care and I know there are other groups like others that care and pray also. You are not alone. Please know there are many who are praying for you and who truly care about your suffering. Stay strong, we are standing with you in prayer an tears.

  31. Thanks for writing this, love! It’s hard for many people to put themselves in another’s shoes and understand his/her heart and struggles.
    It’s so important to do this though- understanding allows us to develop compassion and empathy, which are doorways to love and service. We need much more of this in our world today.

    Thank you for your heart and your desire to provide others with a little bit of understanding. Praying for peace in our world- and a whole lot of love ❤️

  32. “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

    There is a reason that not once in the entire Bible does God refer to skin color. As follower of Christ we should do no less. We may not be able to change the whole world, but we can change ourselves and influence others by the way we live our lives. There is only one answer to the evil in this world and that is Jesus Christ.

  33. As I took the time to read the blog and most of the responses, two thoughts came to my mind. One thought is words are extremely powerful and have the ability to move mountains. My other thought was that I look forward to the day that I can introduce myself as a Christian woman without adding other attributes such as I’m white, brown, green, or polka dotted. Lately in social media and on the news I have been hearing black lives matter and police lives matter. In my little world, my Heavenly Father pointed out that all lives matter no matter the color of your skin, the slant of your eye, your weight, your profession, and your gender. I have hope for our future that only our Father can give us. Blessings to all.

  34. Latrice, I am so sad and I am so angry at my fellow white Christians who simply can’t seem to see what is happening right in front of them. I am so sorry you are afraid. I see what’s happening. I am so sorry for all of it.

    Since Ferguson I’ve been sick to the pit of my stomach by what I see happening over and over and over and over again. The shootings themselves are horrific. It must stop. Throwing tear gas at peaceful protesters? That is unAmerican. The awful things being said about Kaepernick? Unexcusable. That horrible excuse for a man many Evangelicals are calling our political savior? Utterly baffling and infuriating.

    I’m afraid too. Really afraid. I don’t know how to get other white people to listen and see what they don’t want to see. There truly are none so blind as those who refuse to see.

    I am going to directly share this on my wall and tweet it out. It’s so little, but I don’t know what else to do except keep pointing to this gigantic elephant white folks refuse to see.

    1. This person speaks the truth, and does so well. I join my remarks with her and my strong support and exhortations to you and yours. The conditions of my life allow me to relate on a visceral and very similar level, tho it is not skin color.

      I have been seeking to live with my skin turned inside out…we are all the same color then.

      May you be deeply encouraged in our precious Lord and know that this woman will NEVER ever bend her knee to the haters, ever.

      Standing with you though miles separate us
      Charissa White

  35. I am a white Christian woman and I have no response for you. If anything were to happen to your family, and I don’t even know you, I would be devastated. Although I am happy some things are better, it’s quite plain things need much more improvement. I love your simple but direct words. God bless you for not hating white people. For living an integrated life in spite of it all. My love to you

  36. Thank you for this. It is helpful to hear your perspective as my daughter is dating a wonderful African American young man and I’ve thought what if and that is terrifying.

  37. Latrice, I totally don’t know what it’s like to be a black person. And I didn’t even know that I didn’t know that, until I developed some very close relationships with black people, people who I could not bear to lose because I love them so. I have a long way to go, and will never fully understand this side of heaven . Posts like this one build bridges of understanding though, and thank you for being brave enough to write it. Hugs and prayers and comfort to you and your precious family as you grieve and struggle.

  38. I hear you. I am praying. I will and am reaching out to those in my church and my community to hear what they need to say. To allow them a safe space to be loved and comforted. I am here for them to let me know how I can best support and acknowledge this. I want to be a voice for change. I want the dream that Martin Luther King Junior gave his life to see fulfilled. In my lifetime these past fifty years I have seen glimpses of better. We all need to see a whole lot more of that. An ocean of more.

    I hear you. You matter. You aren’t alone. We do care. God cares. This HAS to become a catalyst for change for the better. Thank you for your words. Your beautiful strong words. Thank you for loving your family. Thank you for speaking strongly and candidly. We all need to hear you. Sending you love and prayers.

  39. Latrice, you do two things beautifully in your blog. !) Is that you recognize people react differently when they feel a connection. The comments that we’ve all heard come from a place of objectification — that dead black person — which avoids the reality of your “live black family.” 2)It is also hard to be a white person who does not identify with– or understand– white behavior that can be devoid of human response.

    Victims of assault are encouraged to make themselves more human for their aggressor: My name is Pam. I have 2 kids, and I just had a new grandson. I like tacos, (yada yada)…anything to be seen as a person. It is a cruel reality that teaching compliance to black men, especially, doesnt guarantee success. I’ve been wondering if, in cases where police become more the aggressors, if the assault model for would-be victims might help. Comply…AND clearly, firmly start to share facts about yourself: I’m 28, I’ve been waiting for my daughter to finish her sport, my sister is at home cooking dinner for us…I just want to get home with her…we’re having chicken…. Then if there happens to be any recording for any purpose, the intent of a potential victim is clear– to de-escalate the situation and normalize it into something survivable. The police should be doing the de-escalation, but they’re not being taught that now, and there’s such a culture of supremacy that when it’s ruffled, their identity starts to fall apart, and fear sets in. I send this with love and hope.

  40. Thank you, your thoughtful and wise words cause me to rethink and look closer at a very real priblem we have! Grace be with you.

  41. Thank you for your post. I think we are all guilty of, at times, letting a few people of a different race or culture cause us to judge all people in that same race or culture harshly…just as all police officers are often judged harshly due to the actions of a few. This is wrong on all levels. I see and hear your concerns, and I am a firm believer in peaceful protest. My biggest issue is the rioting, looting, and vandalism. There are more constructive ways to express anger that will actually make a difference. Whenever I ask why someone doesn’t just “Obey the police” and deal with any injustice later, I say that to everyone of all races. I have told my own children to always obey and respect a police officer…even if they feel there is an injustice. This will ensure their safety in the moment, and any injustice can be dealt with properly at a later time. I think if we could all have more open and honest dialogue like this, it would help immensely. Thank you for your article!

  42. MANGA, Clearly you did not read this blog with comprehension. Take the time to pace yourself and read this blog over. It may help you to identify if you would hold a photo of your own family. Reflect on how you would feel if a knock came to your door or you received a telephone call. The result is that your loved one lost their life. Later you discover it was because he or she was white and the perpetrator was afraid of him or her because of the skin complexion.

    You are too close to mirror to see what we see. I pray that God will open up your understanding.

    Manga, I just have to say to you that the vast majority of these shootings did pose any threat for an officer to be terrified.

    1. Billy…thanks for your “unbiased” “truth” statements here. They are so “helpful” and “encouraging”. They bring out the “best” in others, and are a “true” testimony to the “Christian” message. You are a “real” “hero” and “wonderful” “human” being.

  43. Amen. Thank you for this. You have captured some of my exact feelings and thoughts. May Jesus’ light continue to shine brightly through you. ❤️

  44. I have wondered where my white Christian brothers and sisters are…
    I have learned from Chuck Swindoll,( he is my favorite) John Osteen, and a whole host of others…and I have never heard one sermon on racial inequality in 50 years.

    When Trayvon Martin was murdered, My heart ached, for him, for his family. I know for a fact, he is dead for no other reason than he was Black.
    Tamir Rice, broke my heart, made me furious…
    Sandra Bland tore my heart out,

    See, I graduated from Prairie View, I passed that exact spot 500 times, where she was brutally abused by Brian Encina.

    Walter Scott, Alton Sterling, Phillipe Castille, Eric Garner, Rekia Boyd…Jamar Clarke, LaQuan McDonald
    These were human Beings
    These were Americans
    Their lives matter

    I see heartfelt emotion in the comments…and I thank you…

    What are you going to do…about it?
    Prayers are always welcome.
    Prayers did not save these people and won’t save the next victim.

    A suggestion…
    Dr.Joy DeGruy ( Leary)
    Post-Traumatic Slave Disorder
    It’s on youtube…is this issue important enough to take an hour out of you day to understand better?

    Vote for candidates who will make just laws…not laws like preventing release of dashcam video.

    When you hear comments,like the one’s in the post (and we can all know these conversatuons are being had), speak up, say something…

    Please do more than just pray

  45. That is so very true .And I do pray for everyone .Even for people that I don’t know.May Godbless America.May God help people to stop killing others.God Bless you and your family.

  46. The facts are that Keith Scott did have a gun and in 2005 was convicted of shooting at LEO in Texas. If you think that is acceptable you are part of the problem.

    1. Leah, I don’t think Latrice is part of the problem. You are. If Keith Scott were white maybe you’d point out that “Open Carry” is legal. There was no reason for him to be shot dead that night. Check out Eugene Robinson’s piece in the Washington Post: “In America, Gun Rights are for Whites Only”. If the URL doesn’t work, you can probably find it by using a search engine or twitter (@Eugene_Robinson). Me? I’m @dklottis .

      https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/in-america-gun-rights-are-for-whites-only/2016/09/22/3990d370-80f2-11e6-8327-f141a7beb626_story.html?utm_term=.c7db9c350be4

  47. Please pause for a moment. 802 people are raped in the United States each day. Each. DAY. Women, men, and children of every race, denomination, socioeconomic background, and of every culture. Since this blog post? 1,604. Not one or two, but thousands. And not highly publicized and protested against. One thousand, six hundred and four. Thousands of families grieving, scared, righteously angry at the violence and violation visited on them and their loved one.

    I don’t seek to take anything away from the discussion on this blog. I want to add to it. I bring up another much more frequent act of violence for a specific reason.

    The problem is not only about brutality, about race, about police, or about callousness toward the suffering of our fellow man, because it is much more than that…the problem is Sin. The discussion cannot only be about how we, as Christians, seek within ourselves to fix these social problems. Only Jesus can fix this. I can’t, you can’t, but our Mighty God can. His will, not mine, be done.

  48. Hey! I love you! Attached is an article that I feel represents a lot of people who choose to not speak. I feel the article says it better than I can. I really want to have this dialogue with you considering your stance, you’re a Christian, and I have few people I can speak openly and with God at the forefront.

    My hope is that you read the article attached and that we can open dialogue.

    Love you!

    In Christ

    http://themattwalshblog.com/2016/09/22/theyre-not-protesters-theyre-terrorists/

    1. Really, Austin Hill? Really??

      Latrice writes a post where she asks white folks to listen and understand, and you post something claiming that protesters are terrorists? How exactly have you listened and understood?

      And then you have the nerve to claim that this is somehow going to OPEN dialogue? When you’ve just completely stepped on everything she asked you to listen to? And then you say that you love her and sign off “In Christ”?

      Are you kidding me? I cannot imagine anything less Christ-like than what you’ve done here. If he were here right now, you’d be tossed out with the moneylenders and the hypocrites, because you cannot spew hate AND claim to be a Christian.

      As a white person, I want you to understand just one thing: You, Austin Hill, are the problem.

    2. o_0

      An article calling black protestors “terrorists” seems like a very poor response in an effort to start a dialog.

      Not telling you what to do, of course, but your interactions and social skills need a retooling.

      Just sayin’

  49. Latrice, I applaud your courage in sharing and posting this. Your white Christian friends, along with many tens of millions of white strangers (Christian or not) have been anguishing over what to do, what to say. Our own credibility when we challenge the haters is limited. “It’s obvious that your entire perception of reality comes from mainstrain media. Until you put on a blue uniform and go out there, you have no way of knowing…” . That’s what I was told by somebody in an online discussion.

    We are numerous — the white folks who are horrified, ashamed of what’s happening, and seeking the best way to engage. And we do talk to each other: I found your post because my brother shared it on FaceBook. Of course I did as well, and I’m guessing this will go viral in the healthiest possible sense of the term.

  50. The very worst thing any parent can go through is to have to bury his/her child. To say to such a parent “All Lives Matter; we can’t concentrate on your son.” Is almost the worst thing we can say. What we need to say is “YOUR SON’s LIFE MATTERED!” We need to say that over and over again in as many ways as we can think of.

  51. Thank you, Latrice. I am sharing this on my FB. Recently, some members of my church have been reading and discussing the book Heal Us, Emmanuel. We are having deep discussions about each set of essays in the book. It’s really opened my eyes to systemic racism and some ways in which I didn’t even realize I am racist. If, as Christians, we stop looking at this as a political issue or a “cops vs black people” issue but as an issue that should be important to us as Christians who want to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ, then maybe we can begin to find solutions. Thanks again for writing this piece.

  52. I am a black mother, and I feel your pain. I constantly pray to cover my son. He is a godly young man, but I find myself fearful for him. I must say that “we are living in the last days” and the Bible is being fulfilled. We, the people of God, must humble ourselves, pray, and seek His face and turn from our wicked ways; then He will heal our land!

  53. Here’s a thought. Teach your children black or white husband or neighbor to obey that’s right I said obey a police officer when he tells you to do something. Did you catch that obey people in authority. I have not seen one video where a black man obeyed a cop and then got shot for it not one. So what do you think would change the situation. Maybe we can obey those in authority

    1. James…do you really think the videos you’ve seen are a complete showing of all the issues in this discussion. Listen. Pray. Repeat. Listen to this article. Pray to God to help you understand the article. Repeat steps one and two…before you post to this comment section. Listen. Pray. Repeat.

    2. James, you obviously have a TV and Internet service that are very selective. There are numerous instances when the person “obeyed” and was still shot dead. Iwon’t do the work for you, but IF you care, you can find those instances for yourself. You sir (used loosely), and those with attitudes like yours are part of the problem!

  54. Thoughtful, insightful words. God created all men in His image. So, until all men except the love of Christ there will always be strife. Continuing to point out color, will continue to seperate us. This is a heart thing and the devil is having a great time with all of us

  55. Yeah… except he had a gun. He was shot by a BLACK cop. The witnesses who said he had a gun were all black.

    So you see the problem with your post? Your original premise is already wrong. You’re asking for understanding and prayer whenever there is “racial injustice,” YOUR WORDS… when there wasn’t a racial injustice in this case at all.

    YOU failed to be objective. YOU failed to examine the evidence. YOU failed to be unbiased. You assumed because a black man was shot it MUST be racial injustice.

    That… my friend…. is called racism.

    1. Gake, stop at “Yeah…”. Don’t add anymore, don’t try to explain the “real” problem. Just listen to the words of this woman. Try to understand her experience, rather than trying to explain the whole situation in this post. Listen. Pray. Repeat.

    2. No, Gake, you have failed to be objective and examine the evidence. You assumed that because you don’t WANT this problem to be racial injustice (because then it’s possible that you might have to confront your own biases, perhaps?) that it’s not.

      I hate to tell you this, but that, my friend, is racism. You’ve done a fine job of proving Latrice’s point.

  56. Some of us do care, the problem is, you stated” reading a book”. What if it wasn’t a book, what if it was a gun, what if the police said put the gun down and he started to shoot them? Would that be justified? Of course if your wonderful husband was gunned down for no reason, we should care, we should be outraged and want justice. The problem is, you want to lump the cases where people have guns and are a threat, with innocent cases. They are different.

  57. Thank you so much for this post. It was on point and spoke to the heart of the matter. It is important to challenge the thinking and response of those around us who does not know the struggle first hand. I shared with others. I hope I continue to come across your blog again. May God continue to keep and cover you and your family. Thank you.

  58. Thank you. Thank you. If we lived close I’d take you up on that “have you over for coffee…” Keep speaking and writing and raising your beautiful family.

  59. Latrice, your blog is amazing I appreciate you honesty,candor and your effort to put a human side to this issue.

    I am a 55+ white male who struggles with being prejudged as an old time racist I feel I have to answer to this everyday. I can tell you I was not raised to be so.

    I also struggle to understand why there is so much violence in our cities My city Wilmington, DE was named Murder Town USA by Newsweek.

    On the one side I see the police trying to protect the citizens from becoming victims and in the process are trying to save their own lives. On the other side I see some of our citizens involved not cooperating when given an order to stop raise your hands etc. And if they have a deadly weapon refusing to let go, this type of situation this will never end well for either party.

    Do our police need more training in diffusing a potentially violent situation without killing the suspect? absolutely

    Do our citizens need more understanding the position of the police and why it’s so important to cooperate with their authority?
    absolutely

    Blessed are the peacemakers

  60. Latrice, I thank you for putting words to some of my feelings, and so beautifully. Not that I know what it is to be you, but we have had similar reactions to current events. I reposted your words with this;
    “To the people in my life who may have made some of these comments, THIS. My family is beautifully mixed. Your unloving generalizations cause pain to myself and my family. I will unfollow you on FB because I do not want to see these types of posts in my feed. I wish you well. I wish you compassion and love, kindness and generosity.”

  61. It’s not that non people of color don’t stand against injustice… Or won’t… It this violence and looting and criminal behavior where your/our concerns get lost… If people acted civilized and challenged the system in a civilized manner you would have no end to the “non people of color” supporting you… But when they act as they do.. The focus gets lost and then the sympathy diminishes.. Its really that simple.. You want allies in your cause.. Then don’t alienate us with anger and criminal violence…

    1. Lisa, are you talking about the “anger and criminal violence” of black people or police officers? Because I think there is enough blame to go around for both groups. Does that matter to you too?

  62. All these police shootings of Black people also tie into the horrible racial climate in our country and are greatly inspired by the GOP candidate that only addresses law and order. He continues to race Bair saying that the riots are connected to drugs. We as Christians should take a stand to not follow blindly behind a candidate that refuses to see that systemic racism has gone too far and is actually causing genocide. As a Christian, just as a person that believes in a higher power, I cannot fall for the okey doke that will have all people of color set back a hundred years or in gas chambers.

  63. Sorry – this will be long… First, I almost didn’t even read this Blog because of the “title” – “To All my White Christian Friends Regarding Recent EventsI” Latrice, for me that instantly created a divide – a chasm – because “we” Whites aren’t all Christian. If we’re not, do our beliefs, thoughts, actions, desires for a unified response to injustice, matter? Would my religion, or lack of same, ban me from marching next to you or any righteous believer in right and wrong? The response of the vast majority here is from a Christian perspective, but what about Muslims? Jews? Buddhists? Wiccans? All other religions? Or, as in my case, no religion at all… I identify as “Agnostic”, but I could be Athiest? I just know I care about people, and issues, and fairness. In the context of the current crisis, of the current needs, does religion really matter? I don’t know the answers to the big questions? I’ve gone to different churches, researched different “beliefs”, and have concluded that IF there is a God (please no flames?) and “He, She, It” did create this world, then why is there any reason for many/most religions’ beliefs that they are superior? Why the stance that only people of that religion, regardless of color, or the contents of their heart, matter? IF there is a God, I would think automatically there would be an expectation that ALL PEOPLE, matter – and frankly, are capable of caring, being involved, recognizing injustice, trying for and hoping for a better world where everyone has a level playing field – not just Christians or other specific religions. And, on the other side, ALL people can be criminals, evil, angry, unfair, etc. Their religion really doesn’t matter, and when it comes down to it, I think more past horrific acts and violence can be attributed to “religion” than probably any other reason… Why add another label? Why add another divide?
    Nor is this only a white – or black/yellow/red/etc. (I hate these labels!) issue. “White People” aren’t the only people to blame for these tragedies arising from the indefensible actions of hateful, prejudiced, or even untrained “authority” figures – of any color. Also, Police aren’t excluded from a status of mentally ill, either – I was VERY briefly married to a totally and certifiably “crazy” – mentally ill – policeman when I was very young. I left him in four months, and contacted his superiors in the police department he’d worked in for 18 years. I said he needed mental evaluation, and help – and in detail, why – and was told they had no available resources for that. Seriously? I told them he had no business being in a position of authority and carrying a gun! It was only a matter of time before he hurt someone – whether someone else or even himself – but it would happen at some point (I got tired of the verbal threats to shoot me, and physical threat when he pointed his service gun at me, among other issues). I told his Lieutenant this was his formal notice that when – not if – someone got hurt, and the Department had taken no steps to prevent it, I would not be quiet. I would contact every newspaper, TV station, whoever until someone listened – I would carry a sign on a stick up and down in front of the police station – but I wouldn’t quit until someone listened and realized it didn’t have to happen. Three weeks later, after 18 years, he was off the force on some kind of “disability retirement”… They KNEW before and just ignored it… How often does that happen yet?
    Maybe Whites are predominantly the “perpetrators” of these current (and past, if truth be known) travesties, but yes – some of the police and authorities involved are black – or Asian, or Hispanic, or Native American, or these days any ethnic blend, etc. Hate, ignorance, fear, unrecognized bias, ingrained expectations and reactions from input while growing up, and historical perspective by prior generations – all of these reasons and more are involved, but they extend across all racial divides and cultures. Think “stereotypes”? Think there will be no healing until we can move past the “past” and cultivate a new reality of “here and now” – of understanding and appreciating the value inherent in our differences. Horrible behavior and legitimate fault by anyone – of any background – should be met with outrage and censor across the board, by again, people of any background. “You started it” just won’t work!
    I don’t think it’s helpful to call someone names and lash out at them, as Bendin did in response to Manga, because they post something from THEIR heart, and their different perspective? Manga’s views might not be valid to everyone, but the hatred and outrage in Bendin’s response merely illustrated an unwillingness to try to work anything out, to initiate and trust a chance for change. Understanding and mutual respect and open blame-free questions regarding legitimate differences, will go a lot further. For some issues, Manga (I’m guessing a woman from her writing) is only saying what many of “us” (surprise! I’m an older white woman!) think and struggle with.
    She’s right – police officers are terrified these days, and are now often themselves targets. That alone will make them more dangerous, more reactive, tense, and fearful, when they need to be calm and fair. Are news reports accurately reporting all the facts? The 911 reports that the young man with the toy gun, (Tamir Rice?), was brandishing it, had scared people who believed his gun to be real – were they accurate? If so, tragically – whether because he was young and felt invincible, his judgment was faulty – he made people around him frightened, and the responding police who had no way to distinguish a toy gun (from which reports said the markings to distinguish it as a toy had been removed) from a real gun. Did they act too quickly? What are all the facts? I don’t know… I do truly believe most of these incidents ARE a result of bias, have no excuse – no reason – no justification. Some are a mix of right and wrong – from both sides. Some are just the result of bad people doing bad things and paying a high price. (I really have my own perspective on the Michael Brown story. Sorry – nothing that came out about that changed my perspective that he was a bully, a “thug”, who strong-armed a grocer, arrogantly threw his weight around, tauntingly disrupted traffic, and yes – I believe – tried to use his weight and size to attack a policeman and try to take his gun. I’ll listen if there is any evidence that shows a different picture, but the reaction – the out of control and destructive riots – disgusted and appalled me, made no sense, and I think were more an excuse to act out, vent pent-up frustration, loot, vandalize – and only ended up harming a lot of good people.
    Tell me when and where there will be people peacefully protesting legitimate travesties, and I will join them! I will march arm in arm and heart to heart with the heartbroken. I do emphasize and feel for the families’ loss in any instances, wherever and with whom the “fault” lies, whichever side was absolutely right and innocent of blame. Their pain at the loss of their loved one is real, but the instances where police are not wrong need to be recognized as well. True injustices, perhaps caused by poor training, official “policies”, bigotry (whether racial, or other causes such as sexual preference), and probably most of all the prejudices inherent but often unrecognized as existing, cannot be tolerated. However, simply punishment of the bad cops doesn’t do anything to change the minds, attitudes, and hearts of any other cops… There really needs to be a lot of work there…
    Why is a large “Black” man (or a boy who doesn’t look like a child?) perceived as more of a threat, and more likely to be quickly profiled, beaten, shot or treated unfairly than a “White” man in the same circumstance? I don’t know, but probably ingrained, almost subliminal, stereotyping – and that needs to be aggressively addressed and changed. It is also correct that all the police involved in these instances are not white. (By the way, I am serious here – not trying at all to insult or diminish anyone – but what do people actually want to be called? African American, or Black? Or…? I’m going to say Black (unless otherwise corrected) because not all Black people are of “African” heritage (well, maybe WAY back, but as I understand it, all of us can probably track our beginnings to Africa?) I don’t want to be called a White American – or a European American – or Caucasian. I resent having to identify as anything other than American. Personally, I think that is the way it should be for everyone – we should all be in this together, but the reality is different at this point. My bottom line is that people are people – some are right and some wrong, some are thugs and some aren’t (regardless of race). I think a lot of people, and hopefully regardless of race, believe there should be some control over reactions until the facts are really sorted out. Grief – certainly. Anger – unavoidable, understandable, but not always justified or aimed in the right direction. Automatic riots or outraged protests over every single incident just dilute the validity of justified protest, and probably aren’t the preference of the actual victims – the families and friends of the lost.
    I guess that’s all I can say. My heart does truly go out to the victims of most of these recent deaths and damage – I can’t ever truly feel or understand what it is like to have a different colored skin – any other color – and that’s across the board for everyone! That isn’t a matter of fault. It’s simply the way things are. It just shouldn’t matter, but right now it does, but with work, caring, and time that will hopefully change. We all need to ask questions, and be open to whatever answers we get, and then talk it all over. It’s hard to hate when you actually know and understand someone…

      1. To Marie-The-Agnostic,
        It’s your choice to accept, or decline. God the father, gave His son to give each of us eternal life, and He did it for you. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world (you, Marie) that He gave His only son, that whosoever (you, again, Marie) believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” This is God offering you a free gift, because His love for you is so great. He also offers you free will. He wants you to believe in Him, and accept Him, but He (Jesus) is a gentleman and won’t force Himself on you. Jesus by the way, was the only sinless person who ever lived, and a lie is a sin, so we know that when he said, of Himself, “I am the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father, except through Me,” meaning that He’s the only way to get to heaven. He wasn’t being egotistical, just truthful. He was not forced to be crucified; He offered Himself as a pure sacrifice. Now, here the deal: It’s like someone offering you a check for a million dollars, would you turn it down? Probably not. Yet here is this fantastic offer God is offering and you are turning it down. There’s no way to earn eternal life. It’s only available through Him. If you don’t believe in Him, you could humbly tell Him that and ask Him to prove Himself to you. I can personally tell you He’s real, and His love is wonderful. I have had some incredible miracles in my life. It is reassuring, when some horrible diagnosis is given you, medically, to know that He knows every cell of your body, and that there is nothing He doesn’t know about, or can’t cure. He is a Friend like no other. If you want this blessing, freely offered, all you have to do is sincerely tell Him. You could say something like, “Father, forgive my sins. Jesus, come into my heart. Make me the person You want me to be. Thank you for saving me” You do have to be humble when you pray this, though. All of us Christians had to come to Him like innocent children, and pray a similar prayer. It’s your choice.k

    1. Marie, I’m sorry, but you’re not understanding that this is, in fact, very much a white problem. Racism is the creation of our white ancestors and it benefits us in a completely insidious systemic way–so much so that even well-meaning people like you can’t see it, because we never have to think about it. Of course not. We don’t ever have to see the injustices that others see.

      You admonish Latrice for creating a religious divide (which is only a divide because you choose to see it that way–I’m not a Christian, and I don’t know Latrice, but I can still take her message in the spirit it’s offered), but then you begin talking about “legitimate” tragedies and “true” injustices, as if some of these killings are justified–and as if that wording is not incredibly divisive, as if you have the right somehow to make that call. We don’t. We’re not the ones whose people are bleeding and dying here. And when you call people “thugs” without knowing any more about them than what the news media (which is also part of the systemic racism) has bothered to mention, you reveal your own prejudice.

      I get the feeling that you mean well, but think about this: the stories we’ve been seeing on the news for the past few years didn’t start in Ferguson. They’ve been happening for decades. The only difference is that now phones and social media have made us–us white folks–more aware of them. If members of your community had been dying for no reason at the hands of police for generations, would you protest “selectively”? Would you be frustrated when your peaceful protest is covered with clips that make it look violent, as happened in Baltimore? And where’s the white outrage when a city’s sports team wins a championship and white fans riot and loot? Do you see the difference? And the similarity?

      Read Latrice’s post again. Really listen to what she says. Put yourself in her shoes as well as you possibly can, as she asks you to. And then really look into your heart and at your words here, and see if you really want to stand by them, or if it’s time to acknowledge your own prejudices so we can all move forward together.

      1. My point was exactly this – Your religion doesn’t matter, nor mine, if we’re all working toward a common goal and putting our hearts and minds together toward that goal… Religious differences can be another barrier, another distraction, to coming together, fixing, and healing the problems we face. Action speaks louder than words was never truer…

  64. Patrice, thank you for this post. As a white woman, who has shamefully been ignorant to what’s been going on for too long, I am glad to hear what I can do. I don’t want to be silent, but often fear saying the wrong thing. I believe one of the most dangerous mindsets in America this last decade is an “all or nothing”, “with me or against me” attitude that allows many to feel morally upright while ignoring the suffering of fellow Americans. You are all in my prayers, and I will continue to look for other ways I can help too. We can’t be united, until we are equal. God bless you!

    1. Latrice, I apologize. I just noticed that autocorrect messed up your name and I missed it in my initial posting. I meant no disrespect.

  65. “So, please don’t tell me “All Lives Matter”, please don’t tell me “It’s sad, but…”. Just tell me you care.
    Tell me you don’t understand what it’s like to be black. Tell me you don’t understand what it’s like to fear the things I fear. Tell me you don’t have all the answers but you want to know more, you want to help, you want to see change. Don’t argue with me about why I’m hurting. Don’t argue with me about why I’m angry. Don’t try to be right. And please don’t try to make me responsible for why these things are happening.
    And after all that, maybe ask to meet me for coffee and listen to my stories and my family’s stories.
    Maybe try to hear me. Try to hear us. And pray.”

    ALL OF THIS!!! I love it! My education has created an oddity in me that makes it difficult to view someone through a filter of skin color because when it is removed, there are only a few differences in the bones that give a clue as to what your ancestry is and even that is changing. RACE is a cultural construct to control and create fear, ANCESTRY is not! CHANGE is what is needed. Prayers for you as you work to change the world! It is not an easy task!

  66. Dear Latrice, I am not white and I am a minority group. But most significant is that I am a Christian, a member of God’s family. I am sympathetic to your concerns and fears and pain. Yet as I read your posting, I am aware of a different outlook than what you have presented. How does God see our situation and what are His desires for us as we walk and desire for Him? Should we fear for our lives? for our families? our race? our nation? How do I trust God? Does it bring joy and peace? The thoughts and ways of man, the cultures of this world, are not only inferior to God’s thoughts and ways, they are contrary to them and mankind walk in darkness. The hope for justice and righteousness in our socities is not within our abilities. We, the Christians, seeks to walk by the Spirit and manifest the likeness of Jesus Christ. We seek to remind and encourage each other in the real truth and reality of being with God. We seek to love and comfort one another, knowing this life is but a vapor. I really resonate with your intro paragraph of desiring God; pursuing and really walking with God, experiencing Him. Ben

  67. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You said it with so much grace. I care. I will continue to speak out. God bless you and all our sons and daughters who are walking through this injustice. Prayers for the mothers, fathers, sons, daughters. You’re all our family and my heart is broken for you.

  68. Latrice,

    I normally don’t respond to any posts, but yours got my attention. I am involved in public safety in a large metropolitan city. I have been on the scene when a police officer was killed. I have also been on the scene when a police officer has been forced to use his weapon. Like your photographs, these are images that are forever ingrained in my head. Almost every day that I work I witness a shooting. The black males between 16-35 are shooting and killing each other at an alarming rate. I recently was handed a child that was shot at a wake of a person who was shot and killed. At this wake 2 adults and one child were shot with one of the adults on the scene being pronounced dead. The police officer who handed me the child was in tears. I treated this child and handed them off to the arriving ambulance and then I cried. I am on the front lines day in and day out trying to make a difference. I too am angered by most people’s comments on social media. I am angered about comments made by people who have no clue about the inner city, the poorer communities. As a white male, I can say something must be done. We must come together as a community, country and find a solution. I see many problems like health care, education, food deserts, and a broken justice system. There is a lack of family structure and support. How can you learn in school if you are hungry all day? There is a lack of religion or spirituality. I don’t care who or what you believe in, just that you have a belief. We must come together and solve our issues. We cannot allow the media to continue to divide us with false truths or incomplete information. I feel many times the police, fire, and EMS are the only ones who care. They are in the most depressed areas of our country day in and day out trying to make a difference. I see a lot of people typing words but not taking action and it saddens me. Nelson Madella once said “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

  69. Thank you so much for your words. As a white woman, I admit that I’ve been mostly silent on the subject. Not because my heart isn’t breaking; it is. I simply do not know what to say.

  70. It is always a tragedy when someone is killed. It is even more so when an authority figure does so without cause. The points made are good to a point. However you should take your challenge and turn it around and ask if it were your husband who was the authority and encountered those situations how would you want him to respond? I am quite sure you would want him to come home to you and your beautiful family. We ask the authorities to react with perfect judgement and perfect analysis of a highly stressful situation. No excuses for the officer in Oklahoma, however sometimes not following the rules will get you killed. It sucks and it sounds cliché but such is life. Walk off a cliff and the rules of physics will probably kill you.

  71. No one should have to worry that their husband, wife, children or parents will be gunned down simply because of the colour of that person’s skin. I have been saying this, posting this, for too long, it seems. I’ve read the feverish justifications for this or that killing; I’ve lost friends because of it. But, while I am white, both my sons are children of colour. I must speak up about it. I hope that my sense of justice, my sense of fairness, would make me speak up regardless of my fear for my own children. May your family be blessed with safety, as too many families have not been, and may your children’s children grow up without these fears.

  72. Thank you so much for sharing your heart!!! I’ve wanted to hear this! Can you see anything that we as fellow Christians can do to stand with people of color and see change happen (other than prayer of course)?

  73. maybe police wouldn’t overreact if blacks would stop murdering in huge numbers

    when 12% of the population commits over half the murder, of course police are going to suspect blacks are more violent – statistics tell us they are.

    1. Well, and here you are! Another white American male with an opinion! We miss hearing from you, y’all are so quiet about your beliefs and your ideas you need to share with grieving and terrified mothers.

      1. Demarius is correct. Black people, no doubt because they are socially and economically disadvantaged, commit a disproportionate share of crime, including violent crime. We cannot dialog if we do not admit all the facts.

  74. Latrice,

    Your words have moved my heart. Thank you so much for writing this. As a white woman, and a follower of Jesus, I want to listen. I am praying. I don’t know you, but I would take you out to coffee to hear your stories if I could!

  75. I don’t understand what it is like to be black and to fear the things you fear. I don’t have all the answers (or many at all) but I have been and want to keep learning more. I don’t just want to see change, I believe we have to see change. And yes, I am praying but will also try to do more, like speak and support the truth you have written.

  76. I feel horrible for the loved ones that have experienced this loss. I’ll never understand completely. I don’t really know what the answer is as a white person. I feel like I am under a lot pressure to feel ashamed of the fact that I’m white. I have to be ashamed of everything everyone white person has ever done. And like I’m viewed with suspician by black people because I’m white. We have fears too. But its like unless I’m going to say all police officer shooting weren’t justified, then I’m racist. I’m scared about where this country is going. I’m afraid that the riots are going to come to my city. That my loved ones and my community are going to be having business and cars burned to the ground by protesters. I fear that there will be more police shootings. I don’t want more people to die. I have black friends that I want them to go home to their families at night. I also have friends who are cops and I want them to get home to their families at night. but i feel like as a white person that I don’t have a right to be afraid b/c I’m white so what do I know about being afraid for my safety and the safety of my loved one both those in blue and civilians. This all very sad and frustrating. And I feel like there is nothing I can do about it. I have a feeling there where be a lot of negative feedback to this so I’m making this comment anonymous.

    1. Hi, ohio,

      I get it. I so hear how this conversation makes you feel, and I want to say that I understand because I’ve been there. I know how hard it is to come to grips with the fact that we benefit from a privilege we haven’t earned–even to understand how that can be possible. And I know how much that feels like we have to take on the weight of the whole world in return.

      I want to tell you what I’ve learned about privilege. Privilege isn’t about guilt. It isn’t about shame. Nobody is actually asking you to be ashamed of everything because you’re white, though I know it can feel that way. No one is saying it’s your fault. What people are asking is for us to acknowledge that we have an advantage that we didn’t ask for, didn’t earn, and until now, didn’t even realize we had.

      The thing is, because we’re the ones who benefit from this system, we’re the only ones who can dismantle it. And we can’t do that if we don’t admit that it’s there. And yes, odds are good that we also carry some unconscious racism, and that’s tough to admit because we’ve always tried so very hard not to be racist. But again, we can’t fix it if we don’t acknowledge it, because until then, we can’t learn how to do better. Hanging on to denial out of fear is what causes problems.

      No one is saying you can’t be afraid–but I promise you our friends of color are more afraid, and with far more cause. Our odds of being killed for no reason are extremely small. It’s a very different story for them. I have a feeling your fear will diminish with understanding, so work toward that.

      The fact that you’re here, and are sympathetic and concerned tells me that you want to work toward a peaceful solution for everyone, and that’s *wonderful*. You’re on the right track. Keep going. Keep listening. Keep sharing your fears and concerns and let others share theirs. You’ll feel vulnerable–but our friends of color have been vulnerable for a long time. They get it, and they will respect the fact that you’re trying to sort out the issues and to be an ally for real equality. And you will learn SO much.

      And here’s the thing–a lot of our white friends won’t listen to people of color when they try to explain how their lives are so different. But those white friends just might listen to us when we speak on their behalf, or when we stand up to a racist comment. THAT is how we can do something about it.

      It gets easier. Don’t give up. You can be a real force for change, but you don’t have to get there in one leap. Take one step at a time, keep listening and learning.

      I have faith in you. <3

      1. Thank you for responding to Ohio as you did, Saphira! Know that you are not alone. I too am a White woman trying to use my privilege to let other White people know that it is our responsibility to become aware of the corrosive impact that White privilege has not only on people of color but on ourselves as well. It takes a lot of energy to deny the inequalities that we make people live with in this country.

        I don’t generally write on strangers blogs but I was touched by your comments.

  77. Thank you for this comment. I am not black, or brown, but I have many friends who are, many who have children I’ve watched grow from infancy. I am afraid for those boys. I am afraid for the fathers. For their sisters and mothers and for all of us who love them. I am afraid every time I hear about another police shooting that I will discover it’s one of my friends, one of their spouses or children. My family has a long history of public and emergency service – we’re all police officers, fire fighters, EMTs, soldiers. I want every police officer to go home safe at the end of their shift. But I also want every black dad waiting for his child to get off the school bus to get home safe. I want every person of color whose car breaks down in the middle of the road to be GLAD when those police lights pull up behind them because it invokes a sense of SAFETY – NOT to fear for their lives. “Failure to comply” with police DOES NOT AND NEVER WILL justify summary execution. A “reasonable person’s fear” is a good rule of thumb for judging the need for escalated response from the police – what we need to fix – what most of the talking heads seem to be ignoring – is that it SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED A REASONABLE FEAR to be afraid of someone simply because of the color of their skin (or the way they pray, or the people they love, or any other defining characteristic). If soldiers in a war zone can go through escalating warnings to others prior to using deadly force, so can our officers.

    Like it or not, emergency responders, in choosing their profession, chose to be held to a higher standard. They CHOSE to be the people running towards danger, rather than away from it. EVERY SINGLE PERSON in our country, regardless of color, should be able to view the police as safe, as people who will protect them in times of trouble.

    I see you, Latrice. I hear you. You matter. Your family matters.

    Yes, of course all lives matter. But we need to focus on the problems if we’re going to fix them. And to do that, we need to say – we ALL need to say – black lives matter. Because clearly, there are some people who need to be reminded of that. BLACK LIVES MATTER.

    My heart breaks every time I see another news story. My soul aches every time I see another grieving family. I don’t know how else to fix this other than to keep raising my voice along with yours. I have tried all my live never to be silent in the face of injustice. As the Buddha teaches us, any time a fellow being is harmed, we are all harmed. We need to start taking better care of each other. ALL of us.

  78. As a Christian I love all people. I am kind and try to undo some of the atrocities. But yeah thoughts and prayers aren’t solving this. Points:
    – a person of color being killed does not always mean racial injustice.
    – Snipers killing police = more danger to blacks. It is taking stressed out police and creating ‘PTSD liability police’. These are police who are mentally ill on the job and still have to cover their shift. More mistakes, more problems.
    -Underliers are unemployment, educational gaps and the state of the family.
    Both sides need to calm down and talk. This is very close to spiraling into many more deaths. Respect can not be earned by force. MLK preached non-violent protest. I think mentoring and internships could address employment issues. Start somewhere!

    1. I’m really glad that you’re not relying on thoughts and prayers to solve everything, but I’m not aware of a sniper epidemic in this country. Could you tell me more about that?

      It’s true that a person of color being killed does not always mean racial injustice–but so many being killed by law enforcement without cause is a deeply disturbing pattern, I’m sure you’d agree.

      I also wonder if you’re aware that rates of unemployment and education vary widely between the white and black population. You may find this article interesting: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/12/black-white-unemployment-gap/421497/ You’ll note that there is no reason to believe that improving eduction–on its own–will solve the unemployment problem. This is a perfect example of how systemic racism works.

      But mostly, I wonder if you realize just how much you are blaming the victims here rather than listening as Latrice asked you to, and opening your heart to learn from the lived experience of others.

  79. You’d be surrounded w family n friends comforting you. N my heart would ache for another black family to be torn apart by the senseless killing of your husband or other relative. Id be honest to say I can’t imagine the scrutiny blacks live with. A racial scrutiny. Id mean it when I said I’m praying for your family. Id want to one day have dialog between us. Remove any barriers layer by layer so we can speak honestly. I cried the morning last week when I heard about Mr Crutcher. His family devastated. His twin sister. I hurt for her. I’m a twin. The PO has been charged w murder. It was. Then hardly any time passes n Charlotte had the same type charges. And so our country MUST HAVE CHANGES in the policing of America. New guidelines. Overhaul. And the list goes on. America needs to be on our knees praying. Open our eyes, Lord. Open our Hearts. Remove hate. Oh Lord we pray. Jan P

    1. Saphira,

      Thanks for your witness. I appreciate your calmness and voice of reason.

      I suspect some people are not here to listen or to reason but instead to “tell us the real story” they invented from their news channel, but there are some who are persuadable in almost every community discussion.

  80. I being a 19 year young white woman have held my tongue about the police shootings. I feel that policemen have no right to shoot someone without a solid reason. They try to explain why they shot, but it sounds more like an excuse sometimes. I also feel that people in general need to remain calm if they do have a run in with a cop. As long as you remain calm and don’t give them a reason to shoot, they won’t. I don’t believe that all policemen take the right actions because they need to learn some self control. Policemen get paranoid about every action someone can take if they are in the position of handling the situation. As do some of the people that they are dealing with. I’m not saying that either side is perfect and I’m not taking sides. But I am saying that every person is different, and every person has their own battles that they’re facing. Things get out of hand and it’s not what anyone wants in the world. The last thing we want is to fear the people who are supposed to be protectingnus. But as a young Christian lady all I can do is pray and follow my God. That’s all any of us can do. Because in the end, He has all the power and can stop this. I know this answer is long and most people probably won’t read it because of that. But I hope that the people who do read it start thinking twice about the actions they take. I understand your concern and I know that God will deliver. Don’t lose hope. And keep fighting warriors of Christ. ❤❤❤

  81. Latrice,
    I agree with you that people have said thoughtless things to you. If it makes a difference, I am a white Christtian woman. I cannot say I understand what you are going through, or your point of view, because I have not walked in your shoes. But I do think that any innocent person being killed in such a manner is awful. I am appalled. I hate racism. Some of the worst fights I ever had in my life were with other people who said something racist to me. I once kicked a woman out of my car, because she made a derogatory remark about a black person. (I did have to apologize, later, for some of what I said since she is my sister, biologically, but she never said anything bigoted to me again.) My mother-in-law once made a bigoted remark about Jewish people. She never did that again, either. I have had to struggle to control my temper about these things. I have been blessed to have friends from all over the world. When I dream about my friends, I don’t dream that they are different from me. My friends are precious gifts from the Lord.

  82. There are so many levels to this issue. Any life lost is a tragedy but the common thread I see in the majority of cases are people who are resisting arrest. If you have a gun and law enforcement tells you to drop it, it is in your best interest to do so because they have a millisecond to make a life or death decision.
    There is also the appearance at least by what I see portrayed in the media as BLM turning into a “hate” group. When I saw this group marching on NYC streets chanting “What do we want, dead cops. When do we want it now”. They lost me.
    Then there was the celebrating by some BLM members of the police shootings in Dallas. I cannot support any group that promotes hate and violence and would not support them any more than I would support the KKK or the Christian Westboro Church. I feel strongly about this because I know that hate and violence will NEVER solve any problem. There is an energy of “reverse racism” where a black person is more prejudice towards me as a white person than I have ever been towards a black person.

    There is also the facts that show that more whites are killed by cops than blacks even though we commit fewer crimes. An unarmed white man was just shot by cops this weekend. Is there any coverage of that? Protests? No. Does his life not matter? Why? because it will not get ratings but enticing blacks to anger will bring in viewers to see the latest chaos occurring. There is an agenda to keeping the racial divide going.

    I believe that parents need to teach their sons who seem to have no respect for authority to obey instructions when dealing with the police. As a white female, if I am pulled over I don’t make any sudden moves and I listen carefully to what the officer tells me to do and I do it.
    Common sense and recent history show how not doing that can create situations where cops have to make split second decisions to live or die when a subject is resisting arrest, that danger rises tenfold if the subject is armed. Also, it is important to remember that if you are not committing a crime you may suffer profiling which has to be done due to the amount of crimes committed by young black males but you will more than likely not be in danger.

    I don’t know how it feels to be a black person and I never will. But I don’t have to be black to see that protesting and creating violence over every police incident whether the cops actions were justified or not is not logical. The violence and looting are just crimes of opportunities that should cause the black community to feel embarrassed. You think those people are caring about black lives when they are burning down buildings and cars and lootings stores. I doubt it.
    There are laws and if they are obeyed the chances of you staying safe greatly improves. If you don’t like the system, go change it. We live in a country where we have a black president.You have opportunities as a black citizen to make changes in the system. The bottom line is I believe ” All lives matter”. The black officer who shot the man in NC. Did his life not matter, when the subject refused to drop his gun and could have raised it in milliseconds?

    Having said that I do feel sadness towards all families who have lost loved ones and frequently pray that the hate, disunity, racial divide are healed in our nation before it destroys us all.

    1. “Common sense and recent history show how not doing that can create situations where cops have to make split second decisions to live or die when a subject is resisting arrest, that danger rises tenfold if the subject is armed. Also, it is important to remember that if you are not committing a crime you may suffer profiling which has to be done due to the amount of crimes committed by young black males but you will more than likely not be in danger.”

      Recent history shows quite the opposite, in fact, which is the whole reason that a member of the Black community asked you to listen to her and see things from her point of view. Instead, you–from your very first sentence–elected to tell her not only that she’s wrong, but to reply with lies and arguments that show that you are fully subscribed to the systemic racism in this country. All she asked you to do was listen, and you couldn’t do that. You were too busy telling her why she was wrong to be afraid.

      Do you not see how rude and insensitive that is? How you are demonstrating with your own actions the very problem she’s describing?

      I give you credit for showing us who you really are. Especially when you say “All lives matter.” They’re certainly supposed to, but anyone who has followed the news for the past few years knows that black lives currently matter a lot less than white ones.

      (Did you check to see if your uncited statistic was adjusted to represent the actual proportion of whites vs. blacks in this country? Because if you didn’t, you failed to take into account that there are a lot more of us white folks than black, and that blacks are killed at a highly disproportional rate to whites.)

      Preaching the gospel of “if you’d just comply” perpetuates this problem, because many of these men were complying, were unarmed, and are still dead.

      Please think about that.

  83. Latrice,

    A bit of bckground. I’m a 67 year old retired SF soldier. I served 28 years. I am white. My wife is black and we met in Germany. Our 41st anniversary is in December. We gave birth tomthree children, one whom was killed in a car accident. The other two are married. Our daughter is married to a black man. They have four beautiful children. We live in the same house. I get to watch my grandchildren grow in ways I missed with my own children because of my job.

    As a mixed race couple who married in 1975 we have faced many interesting ‘interesting’ situations. I’m not going into them. My wife and I both were prodigals when we met. We have been ‘home’ again for almost as long as we have been married. We have seen and experienced a lot.

    I don’t know many genuinc Christians who do not care about suffering, ALL suffering. Imalso know that the ranters on any side of this issue who use social media to vent can’t be trusted as indicators of the entire environment. I know that there are ‘racists’ in probably every demographic on the planet.

    I don’t share all of my opinions on social media and I’m tired of reading everyone elses. If I don’t empathize, sympathize, or apologize (for being white) doesn’t mean I’m a ‘white’ Christian who cares to little.

    I also know that the only answer to immediate issue, and all others involving sin, is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Christ died for our SINS, When the opportunities arise, and they are many, there is an opportunity to steer the discussion, whether it’s about bad cops or idiots rioting in the streets, to the issue of sin and God’s solution.

    That’s the best I can offer. My personal opinions and feelings don’t matter much, except to myself. As a believer, my mission is the gospel.

    I came over here because I saw that a friend of mine had commented on this blog post.I didn’t read every comment. I saw a lot of expressions of love and support, which is what was asked for from ‘white Christians’ as well as the same from others.

    At the end of the day, the best ‘love and support any Christian can offer is, again, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Only He can truly change the hearts of sinful men, whether those sinful men are white, black, green or purple; no matter if they are on the right or wrong ‘side’ of this or any issue.

  84. I’m sure I’m going to get blasted for this, but there is so much inequality in this world, why does it only have to be all about black suffering and we don’t know what its like to be black. Many of us also don’t know what its like to be homeless, many of us don’t know what its like to be a rape victim, many of us don’t know what its like to be a veteran whom fought for the USA, and his family suffered while he was away, yet gets turned away for medical care, or his benefits reduced. Many of us don’t know what its like to be an abandoned pet. Many of us don’t know what its like to be an aborted fetus. Many of us don’t know what its like to be Hispanic in this country, or a Muslim, or a Jew. Many of us don’t know what its like to have been a criminal in the justice system, turned to God while being incarcerated, and trying to get their lives in order but cant because of a mistake they made they are labeled a thug and are trying to change his or her life. Many of us don’t know what its like to live in a project. Many of us don’t know what its like live in a mansion or have a private plane. Many of us don’t know what its like to have to hunt for your food every day, or be a mother that has to put sand in the cookie to make the kid’s stomach feel full (true story in Africa over and over). Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know what its like to be black in this country, In your same premise you don’t know what its like to be white in this country, think about it, the claims of white privilege, tell my bank account and debt I have to keep my “white privilege” because it certainly hasn’t come my way. Many of us are offended when you say don’t say All Lives Matter, because they do. I think to focus on just one small piece of the breaking down of this nation and world is not praying for God to heal and restore this nation, and this world. I don’t see the likes of folks like Kapernick feeding the homeless in soup kitchens to raise awareness of the oppression against black communities, but I do see the media blast a beautiful individual whom does, but gets criticized for taking a knee in prayer on the field, yet its ok to take a knee for black awareness, yet its not ok to give God the glory, oh and the Teebow foundation is out doing good in the world, alot of it, and that guy goes to hospitals to visit kids in need, feeds homeless, has a true heart to serve man because his faith drives him to be color blind… He is doing something not taking a knee for one cause, he is taking a knee on the field for all causes, because All Lives DO matter, including Black Lives, they are EXTREMELY important. Why aren’t the pastors in those communities mentoring a young man, or providing an education for a young man, and the rest of the folks. Why aren’t more athletes that are making millions of this system we are all so quickly criticizing here, doing so much more. How many houses and cars does one need? What about the Syrian Crisis, why don’t we fix the problem there all boots on the ground, not just military. What about Haiti and third world countries that don’t even have a clean potable water supply. Why when we go to the store every week are we not buying one case of bottled water for our family and shipping the second case to Tiburon? I don’t really know anything about you Latrice and you don’t know anything about me, so why don’t we all focus on the larger issue, getting the world back to In God We Trust. When I see every breath turned towards the heart of God, guess what we wont see, blogs like this. God said when we cease to praise him the rocks will cry out, have you not noticed the increase in earth quakes around the world over the last few years. When everyone is out doing everything they can, feeding homeless, helping vets, caring for animals in shelters that need a home, serving all races and creeds, then we can focus on a small part of the large problem when everyone has done all they can. I feel if we all were doing everything, then the racial divide wouldnt even be there, nor this blog, because we would be arm and arm serving the Master, and serving the world, we would have a black person on our right arm, and a Chinese on our left, and he would be in arms with a Muslim, and then a Jew, then an Afican, etc.. Arm and arm we would all be together as He commanded the Body of Christ serving a starving world, serving a world crying out for God. If yall dont see it, please get color blind and cry out to God. Christ died for us all, not for Black Live Matter, or All Labs Matter (thats also humor if you missed it, google it), He, the Chirst, the Saviour born into this world to die for many. He died, and we all serve the same cross. I’m completely offended that you say, dont tell you all lives matter, that comment turns this entire article into a racial bias, because to the creator, ALL lives do matter. Colossians 3:11. Even that mosquito that just bit you, its the food source to the frog that is to the bird, that is too the larger predator up the food chain until we are all fed, until we are all clothed, until we all matter. We all bleed red, its only His Blood that matters that was shed for many, so lets get the focus where it belongs, building His Kingdom and focusing on God, not a victim mentality, can you imagine if Christ acted like a victim on the cross because he was a Jew and said father father, why did you forsake me because Im Jewish? would his blood have been shed for all? Would we have redemption today, would we have a clear path to eternal life? Sorry but I read your article hoping to find redemption in what you are saying and as I read down through it all I just hear the same thing everyone is echoing, lets not be victims, lets be the beginning of the solution, arm and arm, regardless of color, we pray together to change the world.

    1. Jerry,
      I don’t think Latrice is saying all lives does not matter. They do matter for sure but do not take the focus away from the Black Lives matter movement by changing that to All lives matter. Let us create seperate movement for each of the things you have listed. I am sure all of us will be onboard for that. Take the movement Black lives matter similar to the charities we collect money for. There are so many charities out there for all different kind of disease. No one is asking to combine all of that to one charity and share between the disease research.

      Do not take me wrong this is just my thought.

      1. Suppose I went to the doctor with a knife in my heart and he told me he was busy working on a wart removal, that if I would just sit and wait my turn, and if I would not insist upon being treated, he might get to me because “All sicknesses matter”?

        You’d be outraged for me, and I would appreciate your outrage even though I was attempting to fix my problem myself.

        The same with “Black Lives Matter.” It is *not* a statement that “Only Black Lives Matter” or “Black Lives Ahead of All Other Lives.”

        It’s really this: “Black Lives Matter, Too.”

        That’s really all you need to know.

        Your black American brothers and sisters, endowed by their Creator with inalienable rights (Declaration of Independence) and sufficient to enjoy the liberties of Equal Protection Under the Law and Substantive Due Process (Constitution of the United States) are simply saying *only* this: “Our Lives Matter, Too.”

        Stop excluding black lives from common American expectations and experiences. Stop treating black Americans as if they are all thugs except for the tiny, tiny minority who are sports stars and who entertain you on your TV. Stop thinking of black Americans as provisional, here only at our white sufferance, and in danger at every moment from being shipped back to Africa “where they belong.”

        Treating black Americans with dignity and respect is the minimum we need to do here, which includes listening to them as if what they tell us about their American experience is true.

        There are data that bear out that black Americans are targets of American power even though they are allegedly citizens and even though they are asked to pay the same tax rates as everyone else all the while they receive far less in government resources such as schools, fair policing, speedy trials, access to the voting booth, and the like.

        This isn’t saying black Americans are helpless, ignorant victims needing us white people to save them.

        This is saying black Americans are simply *people* with the same, exact desires you have for safety, respect, acceptance, and freedom to enjoy all their liberties without the fear of being shot by the police.

    2. Powerful Words Mr. Jerry! TY For Being Willing To Put Your Honest & Heartfelt Opinion Out There! I Too Feel The Same Way! I Am Raising An African American Son, And He Too Wishes It Would Be That ALL LIVES MATTER!! One Day When Those Of Us Who Accepted Christ As Our Personal Lord & Saviour…We Will Enter Heaven, And It Will Not Say…White People Enter Here, Chinese Over Here, And Black People Over Here…We ALL Enter The Same Gate…We Will ALL Stand Before God One Day And Be Held Accountable For Everything We Say, Do, & Don’t Do…I Don’t Want To Be Known As Someone Who Looks Down On Any HUMAN Or Animal…I Want To ALWAYS Be The One That Extends My Hand To Help ALL People…No Matter The Color, Creed, Race, Or Religion!!

  85. I am a white woman with a black family. I have the same fears you do regarding my husband and my son,even my daughter. It saddens me and angers me to read the dismissive comments from the white community…Even as I try to explain to many the reasoning behind the Black Lives Matter movement, many do not understand simply because they choose not to – frankly, to internally help them maintain their self perceived sense of superiority.
    Thank you for sharing. I will be reposting your message.

  86. With two beautiful black daughters living in a mostly white suburb. I fear for them as they start to reach the age where they want to go out alone to the Mall with friends or as they start to drive alone next year. Thank you for your poignant plea for people to do more. Thank you!

  87. Thank you, Latrice for these words. Thank you for speaking truth in love. My heart grieves with you. I confess I have not responded or reached out of my own home and that stops now. I choose to not take on a spirit of fear, but instead, boldness and to act intentionally and purposefully to build up my brothers and sisters of any race or color or faith. Buildingthem up and pointing them to Christ. Praying for you as you speak these words. Take heart, and do not fear.

  88. An observation – so many people have posted that they are praying. That is their response to this issue. Prayer is great, but Christians are called to be the Hands and Feet of Christ in the world. Meeting with a prayer group and praying about social justice issues is fantastic; but when the prayer meeting is over, Christians are called to take the insight – the revelations – they may have received while praying – and to DO something about them. Prayer groups are comfortable and safe. What about a coffee group with people of different (or no) faiths – people of different races, ages, socio-economic backgrounds? What about sharing the revelations you received with them? What about working in your community to address issues of racism and injustice? What about taking your gifts – whatever they might be – and using them to inform? If you are a gifted writer, then write; a photographer? Use your art to show people what it is truly like to be a minority in America. A baker? Determine to take a box of home-made goodies to a minority family and visit with them, and listen to them and HEAR their truth. Prayer is wonderful. But it is a beginning of a process – not the end.

  89. From your oldest ornery looking son clear down to the serious looking baby, you have a beautiful family. And you are right. I have absolutely no clue what it feels like to be you. I’ve always preached to my children tolerance but I live in a part of the country not really touched by racial issues. So my own tolerance hadn’t really been tested. I would hope that our families could live side-by-side without fearing our differences. I do pray that others are sitting and questioning their own beliefs right now because of your words, just as I am. You’re a very powerful speaker. I’m not sure why I even read your blog because I can probably count on one hand the times I’ve given over to articles online…especially on Facebook because of the ads attached…..but something drew me to yours. GOD bless you and thank you for sharing yourself and your words of wisdom.

  90. We attended worship this morning as we usually do.Once again, nothing, not one thing was said about the killing this past week in Charlotte. Neither was anything, nothing, said about the numerous killings in recent months. One would think and hope that it is through our churches that we could gain understanding and feel compassion and move toward doing our part to put a stop to these endless atrocities. I left church this morning wondering, “What is wrong with us, yes, we Christians?” Why doesn’t my Pastor speak out? By the way, I am a white female and I do care and I too am frightened for my black friends and our country as a whole.

  91. I do care and alot of these white people that comment what they say is plan stupid. But I see it as there is good blacks and the blacks that are bad. And good whites and bad whites. Just like in every race and in religion beliefs. I believe we have lots of good police officers that are not out to kill the blacks, but just like all we have to good ones and the bad police officers. I teach my girls even though someone is different color of skin then we respect them all if they are kind and respect you. Just as disability people we are all different not the same. No one is perfect not even christians. I don’t support this black lives matter organization because I don’t see them changing the way but destroying and making it worse. And see them as a hate group instead of a good group. I pray every day or change for my family and friends and the black communities and police officers safety. I just thank the generations of people and children need to be taught to respect all adults and authority people and respect are country. But that isn’t happening with a lot of these kids and generations these days. They get by with alot of stuff. Prayers for your family and black community but I won’t support the black lives matter until I see they are doing things differently. Bless you guys.

  92. Latrice, you have a beautiful family. Your children are gorgeous and you can see the love in you’re families eyes.

    I myself and a white mother of two boys. And as with every family we have our own struggles and concerns. But I hear your fear in your post and wanted to let you know that God loves all his children and I hope and pray that these issues will soon be resolved in a nonviolent, graceful manner.

    You see as a sister and aunt I sit here in both sides of the fence. I have one brother that’s a veteran of a police force for 10 year and another that has recently graduated a police academy. Both these men are raising children of a different race since they were toddlers. I can not say what is in the heart of the men that were shot and those that have been the shooters. But being raised with these two men I have an idea what is in their heart. My parents raised us to see someone for what is in their character and not the color of your skin.

    I’m sure it’s not easy for my brothers to explain these events to their children. The one that has been an officerfor some time now is raising a young man that will graduate from high school in 2 years. He just happens to be half black and half Hispanic. He calls my brother dad and he is treated with the same love and expectations as his sibling whom are also biracial.

    So see, I pray that my brothers make it home alive to their families. That they don’t have to make a decision that would result in their death or that of another human being. I also pray that my nephews have only good encounters with police officers, that the officer is not afraid, has love in his heart and doesn’t make any hasty decisions. I pray for them that they all make it home everyday.

    Unfortunately there is a lot of people in this world that I believe would love to see this situation stay unresolved or even worse escalate.

    So for you, all the families struggling with these situations and my family I really pray that kindness prevails, that we (as a country)improve our jobs, schools, educate our children and officers, and come together to reduce these deaths.

    God bless you and your family.

    1. Melissa – In my admittedly long-winded previous post I pretty much felt the same way. I was jumped on because I also said that personally I don’t think it’s necessary to emphasis faith choices (“Christian”) because there are a lot of people other than Christians who feel the same way, also pray, etc, and I said I just think that is another way to cause a divide… Don’t preach Christian to me when I feel people of all religions have feelings and want to help. I don’t think anyone actually read or thought about what I said, because the responses were off base. I believe we should work together, and I think the “Black Lives Matter” movement was born out of legitimate pain, but is now being used in ways that only make things more bitter. Unless we can all see, and admit, that no people, no race, no group is all right, or all wrong, no progress will be made. There is no excuse for wrongly killing anyone – black or white – but all cops are not bad, either. Promoting hate and encouraging violence against them is just as bad as bad cops acting violently against innocent people. Why not have an actual “All Lives Matter” group/movement and actively recruit and/or openly accept well-meaning people who are passionate about inclusion? I would gladly help if the goal was coming together instead of blaming and encouragement hate and violence.

  93. I don’t think you’ll need to worry if you teach your kids to respect the law, to compliant to a lawful order, to respect authority figures at home or outside the home. Teach your children well and this sort of things won’t be a problem. Rules are not meant to control but to protect us from harm.

  94. Dear Latrice,
    I didn’t have to tell my son how to act around police. We are white. How sad to think how fearful you must be just have your child or husband to leave the house. Even then the house may not be as protected from dangers if it is in the “Black” area of town. God forgive us and protect you and yours from this horrid times of fear and hatefulness.

  95. Dear citizens, please do what you would if it were your husband, your son, your cousin, your relative who was gunned down. We sometimes rant and spew defensive words about the situation because we cannot emphathise with others. This is an issue – black men particularly are being murdered. This does not diminish any other issues which exist in America, but it does seem that animal cruelty can get more airtime than the murder of black men. Coming from a black majority country and spending time in America I have observed both overt and covert racism. Americans have put up with it so long and tried to endure and overcome that their fellow citizens pretended as if it didn’t exist. Now that you are being confronted with this reality and can no longer pretend it doesn’t exist or ignore it, do something about it. You can condemn the racists and murderers publicly, you can join the protests, you can join discussions about it. You can boycott companies, television stations that condone racism. What would you do if it were your son or husband?

  96. What a great article. I read it at a time that I have been struggling with a lot of questions. Would you be willing for you and I to have a one on one conversation?

  97. Thank you! As the parents of an African American teenage daughter we are so concerned about what is going on in our country. We, as white Americans, have no idea what it’s like for our 3 adopted children of color. I’m so tired of hearing people defending the cops and giving no empathy or care tithe families and victims. Thank you again.

  98. Hi Latrice,

    In my opinion, you have been very generous to white Christians(myself included) in this post. Thank you for your graciousness.

    After sharing this post, a friend asked if there is an appropriate way (for a white Christian) to safely ask questions and think through recent events.

    She lives in a mostly white area. Our family lives in a very diverse area and we have friends (who are people of color) who are patient with us through our ignorance and humbly answer our idiotic questions.

    Her question begs me to ask what you suggest for white people living with less diversity.

    I get it if you don’t have time to respond. If you do, I’ll be grateful for your wisdom.

  99. A friend of a friend shared this post with me, and all I did was open the link and leave it open for a few days.

    I was afraid to read it because I know I just have no tools to help. Know what I mean? Tragedy, terror, catastrophe affects people we might know or, really, do not know, and all we have are words. “How can my listening or my words help someone?” Plus, a white guy giving advice. Who has time for yet another round of advice from someone who is likely to speak words and then run away?

    But then I finally read this, because I wanted to listen and connect.

    Thank you for reaching out to me, to us, to your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, to those who in this world still have a heart that can feel another’s pain or the shoes to walk another mile — or even just the time to sit and be with someone.

    For you, my fellow believer, my sister in Christ Latrice, I would offer whatever I can — to listen, to grieve, to support, to believe, to encourage, to ally. No one who is part of the family of God should ever feel alone and ignored. If you speak, I will try to listen. If you grieve, I will try to be there to sorrow with you. If you are angry, I will try to be there to let you vent and let you talk and let you do all the things you need to do without telling you what you should feel or do.

    For us, my fellow believers, I would offer a direct request for us to stand with Latrice, with her family, with her neighbors and her church and her community and all who are under pressure to stay silent and go away. See them, listen to them, be with them.

    Those of us who are white believers might think we not know how to help Latrice or support her, but she has told us here, right in her post:

    Listen.

    Be with.

    Pray.

    Sit with.

    Listen.

    If you are around Latrice or in her circles, encourage her personally. Take her out for coffee or chai or whatever it is, and let her talk and pray and listen. If you know her husband, go out and spend some time with him. Anyone who homeschools knows how it is: you’re 24×7 a teacher/parent, and sometimes you just need to go do something for yourself. (We homeschooled our boys.) If you are in her homeschool group, make sure you invite her and her kids on your social outings.

    Make her know that she is seen and heard and appreciated.

    If you don’t know Latrice, then, as a Christian believer who has your own power to make choices, make choices to reach out in your community, however you can, to those who share Latrice’s life experiences. Pair up with other homeschoolers. Work to build out community interactions with arts or sports or music, and when you do so, make connections with parents who attend. Work to encourage your children to make connections.

    I’m not predicting overnight success. I’m not predicting smooth sailing as you reach out to people you never tried to reach out to before. Let’s face it, people are going to feel uncomfortable when someone tries to connect out of a “mission” or “duty.”

    But I encourage you to work on it. To reach out and connect because you have compassion and empathy and genuine love for others, and all you need are some tools and some outlets.

    Be there for people like Latrice, her husband, her kids.

    Be there for people.

    Be there.

    If you need Scripture to guide you into obedience and action, then I encourage you to think of the man who asked Jesus “Who then is my neighbor?” Jesus gave an awesome answer that, like Latrice’s post, has totally do-able activities and direction.

  100. Latrice, you could not have said it better. Some people use religion, mistakenly, to serve themselves and to cover up what is really going on in their hearts. Sometimes it is fear and greed that lives beneath the surface. Sometimes we need to dig deeper then religion/spirituality can take us, to reach our souls. To get to that place where we give All of ourselves to those that live amongst us and for the right reasons. My wish is that the universe protects all of us from hypocrisy and that some that consider themselves “the devout” look closely into the mirror, twice.

  101. I first became involved with civil rights when I was twenty, (1963, I left the church of my upbringing because I believed it promoted wars, racial tension and promoted racial conflicts. As I grew older and wiser I discovered it wasn’t the church, it was blinded members within the church. the Church itself taught harmony, love and equality between persons.
    As a White Male who has spent his entire life fighting and promoting equality, civil justice and religious harmony, I continue at the age of 73 to stay the course. And I promote the welfare and common good within and with out the church.

  102. Sadly, all I do anymore is #CallThemOut
    I also made a meme with a hood.
    It says:
    “#CallThemOut
    U dropped ur sheet”
    I’ve run out of patience. I can’t watch any more black people die with no consequences.
    We need to purge the military and police forces if white supremacists. We need to demilitarize police and teach de-escalation!
    Sooner, rather than another 400 years.

  103. Thank you for your well thought blog. I am 72, white, I marched for equality in the sixties. If I was not old and sickly I would be out there again. My friends, of all races now pray for this insanity to stop. I want all mothers, especially black mothers, to not have to worry that their children will not come when they leave the house. It’s bad enough with out having to worry that some cop will stop them just because they’re black. I will continue to pray.

  104. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your family and the terrible injustice of gun violence against black men and women. After these shootings, there are days when I just want to hug every black person I see and say “I’m so sorry.” I know my white privilege keeps me from seeing the whole picture of racism but when I hear people dismiss the reality and consequences of racism in our country, I want to scream at them to open their eyes. Thank you again for sharing.

  105. “And please don’t try to make me responsible for why these things are happening.”

    Right back at you sister. Seriously, in all love, yes. That. I can’t be accountable for every idiot out there with every one of their dumb opinions. I can’t even be accountable for the smart well meaning people, people probably much like yourself, that say stupid things with the best of intentions. No doubt people have had a lot of stupid opinions to offer you, and been poor comforters to you. I can’t apologize for them. But I can understand your pain. And your fear. And your grief. And your anger.

    But I am not a “white person”. Don’t ever call me that. I am your brother in Christ, or would like to be. Until that barrier of separation comes down, it pretty pointless to talk to you about anything. You aren’t asking for my compassion for you. You are demanding my submission to you.

    Don’t try to be right? Who are you to tell me that? Somebody needs to be. We have a terrible shortage of being right on both sides right now. More importantly, what if I told you, “Don’t try to be right?” What if I told you, “Don’t argue with me about why I’m angry?” What if I told you, “Don’t argue with me about why I’m hurting?” Do you think you are helping by claiming inarguable moral authority? Do you think you are increasing empathy? Changing hearts? Winning sympathy? Spreading the Gospel?

    You want me to tell you that I don’t know what it’s like to be afraid? No, I can’t do that. There is no fear you can possibly experience that I haven’t. I promise you that. I may not have all the answers, but one thing I’m sure of is that fear is a fairly common experience and I have experienced every sort of hatred you’ve ever experienced. I’ve been spit on. I’ve been mocked. I’ve been beaten. I’ve kicked, stabbed with pencils, and stoned. Some of those times it was because of the color or my skin. I’ve been denied jobs because I was white. I’ve told as a young man with no job prospects that a job fair was only open to minority students.

    Let me ask you this. If you really want compassion extended to you, and to experience that compassion radiating from other people, why do you want to insist that I can’t possibly understand where you are coming from? Is it because my skin color isn’t right for you?

    Praying for Justice and Peace.

  106. I am a Christian and white, get over it. I take a large amount of offense to this post. It’s sad that the only thing people are concerned with are comments. Just because I read something and don’t say I’m praying for doesn’t mean I’m not. Jesus actually admonished the pharisees for that exact behavior. He told them that they “have received their reward.” Prayer is a conversation with God, not a public declaration.

    Secondly, I’m not making excuses for the police. It’s a tense job, if I was in their position I would probably be much jumper than they are now, police are being called to emergencies and ambushed. How is that even close to okay? How is that even being over looked in your post? If your husband was in a situation where it was dangerous for the police officer and instead of following the officers instructions he decides to dig for some gum of course he’s going to get something back. The police have ultimate authority at the moment (don’t get me wrong they have to answer for their actions) and that’s the view that needs to be taken.

    Thirdly, where is your compassion about the 2 men lit on fire by BLM activists? Where is your discussion about the college campus incident where a black cop shot to death a white student because he held his hands out instead of up? There are videos of these incidents and both happened within a week of this post. What about the BLM riots and looting? Racism has a new face and it calls itself Black lives matter, like most things in this world. It started with a good, honest, and honorable goal and was perverted by dishonest, dishonorable, and evil people.

  107. Latrice,
    Thank you for sharing your experience. I am a White woman and while I have not had your experience nor do I fear for myself or my family members, I can totally empathize with your position. I ache with you knowing that you and the people you love most are not safe. Not to mention that no matter how their and your safety is eradicated, you will be told by clueless White people that you somehow brought it on yourselves.

    To all the people writing in who want to know how to best offer support, my guess is that if you just share your heart with Latrice, it will go a long way to making a powerful connection that is likely to be healing for you both. Racism discussions are hard to have.So maybe this is not the time to have them. It is the time to embrace Latrice’s suffering as if it were your own, What would you want in this situation? What kind of support would you imagine that you would need? You don’t have to apologize for being White. All of our hearts have the same color. If we speak from our hearts and express our authentic feelings, it can be healing for all of us.

    Latrice, I don’t usually write on strangers blog’s but I was touched by your post. May you and your family remain safe and may you feel the love and support of your community and unknown “strangers” such as myself. Blessings to you all.

  108. Thank you! I’m a white mother of 3 black sons. Even if Im white all of this gives me trauma each n every single time. I see my sone, my husband, my inlaws. And I they are …they are my life and my purpose in this world. And I feel so overwhelmingly tired of white people who can not or will not relate. Just because they can choose not to. White privilige. ….uhhh….. But for the love of God they should start caring! They can’t see clearly, but all of this is hurting them as well. Eventually. Hearst of Stone.

    1. To clearify: I deliberately ise the term black about my children. Even if they are clearly 50/50% black/white it has no significance. The world around them views and treats them as black, that is the reality

  109. Thank you. Thank you so much. As a white woman, with a black uncle and cousins, I have many times wanted to converse with them about recent events, to get their perspectives, and talk with them about their feelings. But I feel inferior about such topics and don’t want to come off offensive or ignorant unintentionally. I don’t want to hurt them or our relationships by saying the wrong thing. This gave me words to open the conversation. Thank you. Thank you so much!

  110. What does Christ speak into this situation? Love the LORD your God with all your heart mind sole and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. I would commend to anyone who is interested in statistical reporting on this subject to view Bill Whittles video about the political side. Without knowledge and understanding we will never change things so that love can be our default setting… as God intended it… https://www.billwhittle.com/firewall/black-lives-matter-kills-people

  111. I pray your beautiful family will be OK. Your children are surrounded by the love of a mother and father, a praying mother and father. This is of inestimable value to them and to those you bless daily.

    Yet, 70% of African Americans kids do not have this. And they are killing each other by the thousands each year and falling prey to all sorts of vice and criminality. “In America’s 75 largest counties, comprising most of the nation’s population, blacks constituted 62 percent of all robbery defendants in 2009, 57 percent of all murder defendants, and 45 percent of all assault defendants — but roughly 15 percent of the population in those counties.” –Washington Post, 7/18/16. I don’t say that to be hurtful, but to be true. It is part of the equation.

    The Washington Post has a database of all lethal police encounters in the US in 2015, totaling 990. 50% of those killed were white, 26% were black and 18% were Hispanic. Moreover, of those killed who were unarmed, 36 were black and 30 were white. These data do not point to an out of control, broadly racist police force.

    In Chicago, there are 400-500 murders per year. Roughly 3/4 are black who die. Roughly 3/4 of the murderers are black, mostly age 17-25. Shouldn’t we also weep for this? In fact, shouldn’t we weep a LOT for this. Lives taken. Lives wasted. Lives left scarred and in pain. This is more per year than the number of blacks killed by police in the entire US. 1 city.

    There may be interests who want you to feel a certain way. Certainly, broadcast media wants us to watch. But that one case we are watching, may not be the whole truth.

    1. 1) No murder victim’s life goes unmourned.

      2) Murders happen. They are important. Murders by cops are MORE important, because it is a breaking of trust by the authority figures we are supposed to depend on. It’s the same reason that it’s worse when a teacher or clergyman abuses a child than when a stranger does.

      3) Just because the people in Chicago aren’t being killed by white cops, it doesn’t let white people in general off the hook. Whether it’s rural Kentucky or urban Chicago, these are all ‘our people’. We should ALL be working on solutions to the problems that lead to these murders.

  112. Latrice, I saw your post through a friend of mine. I would love to help however I can. I am a mother of 3, a wife, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a friend…I am a child of the living God- and I know that He made ALL OF US in His image and we are all brothers and sisters! I am outraged at these killings, and shootings. (Oh the therapist protecting his special needs patient being shot makes my blood boil) I am also white. I love people. I want all to come to know Christ more than anything. I am with you and am praying for the black community and for our justice system to get it together. Our children should not be fearful to be kids! I read books in my car all the time. Never have I feared for my life. I am so saddened by the prejudices in this world. My white husband had to visit Baltimore during the height of the riots and I was fearful bc all of the chaos and death. I cannot imagine how it must feel for you to have that feeling for your man all the time. Fearful for him to have his car stall. Since when can a man not get help for his car without ending up dead? I wanted to ask- what are your thoughts on this?

    http://www.injusticeboycott.com/

  113. Hi Latrice!

    I just wanted to stop by and say that, while we’ve never met, and I’m not Black nor Christian, I love you and your family, and I would be heartbroken should such a tragedy befall any one of you.

    I try to speak out whenever I can, and I stand beside anyone who does. It never feels like enough. An injustice against any of us is an injustice against all of us.

  114. I am 58 and white. I hear what you are saying. I know that there is and always has been a huge prejudice toward any black person, especially men, by the police. Heck, by my whole race. It is worse now than when I was growing up because now the police are also afraid for their lives because of the recent police that have been targeted and murdered.
    The only thing that can change this is prayer, talking to each other, and honest blogs like this.
    In the mean time we all,but especially black people, need to teach their children and practice themselves, behaving with respect when around the police. Whether they deserve it or not, it needs to be practiced. I say especially black people because of the predjudice and danger they are in because of it. Obey all commands, stupid, wrong, or not. And DEFINITELY do not carry a gun on your body, real or not, especially if you are black. It is called being proactive.
    I have taught my children to obey me without arguing. After they have obeyed, if they think I was wrong, come talk to me about it. Obey first, discuss later. If everyone follows this things may begin to change.
    Police must also change. Why do they shoot to kill? Are they not trained well enough to shoot to mame? There is no reason for deadly force unless you are being shot at. If you want the respect of the public EARN IT! Treat the people as you want to be treated!

    1. “And DEFINITELY do not carry a gun on your body, real or not, especially if you are black. It is called being proactive.”

      Nothing like giving up rights in attempt to attain security!

      “Why do they shoot to kill?”

      Because any shot can kill, so you should not be pulling the trigger unless you intend to kill your target. Basic gun safety- 1) Treat every gun as if it is loaded. 2) Never point a loaded weapon at something unless you intend to kill it.

  115. Laurice!! Iam a 67year old African-American Lady!! Thank You for your Story, your Concerns, picture of your Beautiful family and the Need to Share!! I agree 100%!! We have to let our VOICES be heard!! We DEFINITELY !! All day, need to PRAY!! Laws have to change!! There has been so much Hate in the World!! Prayer was taken out of Schools and Reciting the National Anthem and our children are being taught to be Racist by their parents!! I have White friends, Black Friend Friends, Know many police officers, have mentored, Black& White Children!! and have advocated for Our Equal Rights by marching and protested because of Non Equal Rights!! God has said “Vengeance is mine, I feel that many White people feel that they have the honor of being the only ones that can carry guns, there has been cases that a Black man has a license to carry a gun, has obeyed the police officer, hands up and still has been murdered!!! God Create Our lifes and is the only one to Call Us back home!! These Hateful people will answer to GOD!! Praying without Ceasing!! Laurice!!

  116. Hi Latrice!

    You don’t know me, but I stumbled upon your blog today as a friend of mine shared it on Facebook.

    You’re right. I don’t know what it is like to be black and to be black in America today. But, I do know what it is like to fear for my children and pray for their safety. I know that your feelings for your loved ones are the same as mine and I ache for the mother’s out there who have lost a child or fear they might.

    I don’t know what is wrong with the world right now. Things do seem to be escalating for whatever reason and it is frightening. Your advice is good: Listen – pray – repeat. I would love to pretend that the the issues that we face in our country and culture right now didn’t exist. But, that’s just like the proverbial ostrich with his head in the sand. It won’t get us anywhere. I think we need to reach out to each other in love. I know that can be difficult when there seems to be such a divide at the moment. But walls can be torn down, can’t they? I pray so. I’ll be listening, praying and repeating…and, I’ll be reaching out trying to share Christ’s love to those I meet.

    Good post…very thought provoking, Latrice.

    Blessings to you and your family!

  117. Thank you for posting this! I’ve recently been trying to understand this from a black perspective. I really appreciated this article.

  118. I believe most of America stands with you and your family and every other black family in the world. But it is also important to try to have a true understanding of the “other” side and of what may be happening to cause the police state we are in lately. In 2006, the FBI made a report that their was an agenda by White Supremacists to enter law enforcement. We know there has always been an unspoken rule between officers to stand by other officers, REGARDLESS of what they do. I am posting this link because this may be the cause and unless we find out in EACH OF OUR TOWNS, what our neighbors believe and what actions they are taking because of those possibly horrible beliefs, this may never change. It is up to all of us to help our African American brothers and sisters and stand up against these horrible beliefs and stop this from happening in our country. It has been too long, we should not STILL be talking about any of this. It shouldn’t be happening. http://www.oregonlive.com/today/index.ssf/2016/07/police_shootings_brings_into_s.html

  119. I want change. I want these murderous police officers charged for what they do. I want more screening processes in the recruitment stage. No more of these “scared” trigger-happy police that think the only option they have is their pistol.

    White people think slavery’s ended?

    The chains might be gone, but the racism and oppression is still there, the indifference of privileged white middle-class is painful to see. Stop burying your head in the sand.

    If you people insist you’re not racist, then get out there and support the movements. SEE the problem. ACKNOWLEDGE what’s happening and HELP STOP IT, for the love of God, please stand up for POC when they need us to. People are dying, people are scared and nobody should ever have to be terrified of leaving their home for fear that they might be the next casualty.

    Trying to even justify the actions of these police is only perpetuating things. Deadly force should ALWAYS be the LAST RESORT. ALWAYS. Even in War, soldiers do not immediately opt for deadly force, they’re trained to use tactics to attempt to end a confrontation peacefully, if possible, so why is it okay for our officers to murder people like this? It’s not and it never will be.

    Stand up for BLM. Understand why this movement is in place.

  120. Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it with us. You are an incredibly brave, beautiful woman. I want you to know that I- a white woman- am sorry… so, so sorry… for all the hurt and oppression that racism has cost you, your family, and your friends. And I declare to you today- your life matters! Black lives matter! It is a deep shame that we live in a land that hasn’t shouted that loud and clear. I will say it again- black lives matter! I commit to being part of a change, through my own posture and in every opportunity I have to speak to others. You and all black lives are of just as high a value as an others, and I hope and pray that God will heal our land, and that His people will stand up for true equality in our nation.

  121. So how do we know if it is really race motivated or not? The media blows things up and puts false news out there to perpetuate division. Look at what happened in Hagerstown, prime example of someone recording what they wanted their select audience to see, it started a riot, an unjust riot. I feel for the black people but rioting, murder, burning your town down is not the answer. You can see why some whites are confused and angry. But some like myself looked harder and I am seeing the masters behind the puppet show. Black people are being used. It has come out about George Soros and others who just want to manipulate everyone, Blacks, Whites, everyone. The way to control people is by fear and division. BLM needs to see they are being used. They have discovered that 70% of the rioters in Charlotte weren’t even from Charlotte, they were being bused in.

  122. I participated in the 60’s and thought we had made some progress on the divide in this country. It was a huge movement yet it didn’t help one wit. so I am at a loss of what will effectivly work. The only things i can think of is more education about the divide and the importance of understand ing that all people are made the same way…that under the skin are the exact same bodies. And I think Churches need to get hughly involved. I am just so frustrated I grieve for the families losing their sons fathers brothers and I don’t have any answers.

    1. Pam, we need to raise our children from birth that we are all human and deserve to be treated as such. Bigotry, racism, and hate have to be taught. We need to get generations away from that being taught.

  123. Beautifully, beautifully put, Latrice. I will pray about what I can do to help my black brothers and sisters through this awful time. You’re exactly right. I have NO clue what it’s like to be treated less than or looked at with suspicion simply because of my color. I can’t fully know your hurt and pain to the extent that it is, but I do feel hurt and pain for what I can imagine it to be like. Because you are God’s children, and if my brother or sister were hurt, then I would be in pain with them. Please know I will pray and I will do what I can to bring peace and shine God’s love for everyone and to make sure my children understand so they can me agents is change, too. Well spoken, sister. Much love to you and your family.

  124. Dear Neighbor, Fellow Mother, Fellow American,
    I feel your pain. I am haunted and totally dismayed by what is happening in the country I love so deeply. I’m so sorry you walk in fear for your husband, sons, daughters, nephews, because of the views and prejudices of others. May God reach into the hearts of those who justify injustice and diminish your and others pain and fill us all with compassion, empathy, and understanding.

  125. Thank you for sharing this. God bless your family and may God bless us as people of all colors to come together and make this better.

  126. Your post was very well written. I am a white Jewish woman. I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to be black in America. However, it’s clear that there is an implicit bias, and it is unfair and dangerous. I feel awful for the families affected by the tragedies. Some people want to pass blame on to tell victim in a way that they most likely wouldn’t if the victim were white, and it’s disgusting. Sure, there are some times when an officer using his or her weapon iss justified, but many of the recent events were not in any way. Deadly force should be a last resort in the face of immediate life-threatening danger. Not because someone wasn’t following directions or “looks like a bad dude” by some white guy’s standards.

    In short, well put. I support you. Also, your family is lovely.

  127. Latrice: I care. Idon’t understand what it’s like to be black. I don’t understand what it’s like to fear the things you fear. I don’t have all the answers, but I want to know more, I want to help, I want to see change. You’re hurting:( You’re angry:( You are in NO.. WAY.. responsible. Coffee? 🙂 a friend of a friend shared this post and it made it’s way to my feed. Thank you for your words, your service, your faithfulness.

  128. It’s hard knowing what to say after reading this. I know many cops who are friends, high strung and stressed. Good reason too. You can literally die out there in an instant.

    I have many black friends. Many of whom have been treated differently by law enforcement than me just because they’re black.

    This is one of those problems you wish didn’t exist. Like any war you have an entire nation taking sides trying to figure out what to do and you have people on both sides still dying. I don’t know what the answer is but I do know HE does.

    Thank you for writing this. I needed to read that.

    Eli

  129. I can see this issue is effecting you and others in profound ways. This world is indeed filled with so much pain, misunderstanding and sin, and it breaks my heart to know that it will likely continue. Someone in one of these posts asked “What does being Christian have to do with it?” Well, simply put, in Christ, we are all one… black, white or other. As such, not only do we share the same Father, but the same hope as well. Fact is, so long as there are people in this world, there will be sin, and death, and hate and misunderstanding. In this world there will always be pain, but take heart… Jesus has overcome the world!

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